One-upmanship tests women’s friendship

DEAR ABBY: I have a good friend I’ll call Josie. She’s kind, generous and always willing to help. There is only one problem: she lies.

I find myself getting more and more angry as she stumbles through her stories. If someone makes a comment, she takes over the conversation and we hear a looong story about the same thing happening to her but much worse.

What can I say or do to get her to stop lying? — Truth Wins in Tennessee

DEAR TRUTH WINS: Josie won’t quit lying until she finally hears it from others and realizes that it isn’t achieving the desired effect, which is standing front and center in the spotlight.

Tell Josie in plain English that what she’s doing is infuriating and that she’s doing herself no favors. But when you do, realize it will probably be part of a farewell speech.

DEAR ABBY: I can’t travel too far by myself because

I’m agoraphobic. I’m having my house painted, and I asked my brother if he could pick up some paint. He brought the paint to me and I reimbursed him. He then accused me of being needy and using him because I mentioned I was short on gas money for the trip.

Abby, when I ask him to do things for me, I pay him 90 percent of the time. I don’t ask for his help often, but that time, he argued with me about gas money. Needless to say, I gave him $20.

My brother isn’t struggling financially. He has money. He’s supposed to be a deacon in his church and calls himself a good Christian. He really hurt my feelings, and he said other mean things about my health issues.

What should I do? — In

Need in the East

DEAR IN NEED: Your brother may have been in a bad mood. Have you told him that he hurt your feelings? If you didn’t, rather than nurse hurt feelings, clear the air.

DEAR ABBY: This letter is for people who are involved with folks who say they are separated. If you have feelings for someone who is separated, ask when they plan on getting divorced. If they come up with excuses like there are children involved, property disputes or they can’t afford a lawyer, end the relationship.

Do not date or sleep with a separated person. They can easily return to their spouse, leaving you high and dry.

Bottom line: “Separated” means still married. — Word of Warning in Virginia

DEAR WORD: That’s pragmatic advice, and I hope readers will heed your warning. As anyone who has read my column knows, I have printed countless letters from heartbroken readers who wasted time and energy on partners who weren’t free.