Diplomat deals with digestive dilemma
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a U.S. diplomat who has developed several severe food intolerances in middle age. I’ve consulted with a gastroenterologist, and while these issues don’t affect my health per se, they do severely limit what I can eat.
I developed these intolerances while posted to a European country where they were relatively common, so managing my diet was fairly easy. But now I’m facing an assignment to a country where I’ll be extremely limited in my dietary choices.
Are there any rules or points of etiquette that can help me navigate this situation?
GENTLE READER: Relishing the local cuisine is considered a crucial gauge of likability, if not of honor.
But Miss Manners has written you a little speech to give when dining out, or when featuring the local dishes as a host, even though you cannot eat them.
“Do you know the hardest thing about this post?” you will ask. “The food looks and smells so wonderful — especially the (peculiar thing of the moment) — but I have a painful condition that won’t let me enjoy it. I’ve argued with my doctor, and he sympathizes, but absolutely forbids me even to taste it, no matter how tempted I am.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I invited a couple we have known for several years to join us for a simple dinner, just the four of us. The invitation was responded to with, “We’d love to, but can we bring our dog?”
We love dogs, but aside from our finding the reply to be presumptuous, their dog jumps on the furniture and is generally ill-behaved. So I said we would prefer not.
Before the dinner, my friend texted that they decided to “pass” on our invitation as they would prefer to be home with their dog. I found this to be incredibly rude. Am I wrong in my feelings?
GENTLE READER: Well, your friends told you that the company of their dog, which they can enjoy every other day and night, is preferable to spending an evening with you. Miss Manners would hardly think you need to know more.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a wedding we attended, the bridal couple had the first dance, and then the bride’s parents danced with the couple. Is it correct for the groom to dance with his new mother-in-law first, rather than his own mother?
GENTLE READER: Are you his mother? Then Miss Manners asks you to forgive him; he could hardly spurn his new mother-in-law as she approached him on the dance floor.