Single woman struggling amid ‘cliques’
DEAR ABBY: I have been living in a 55-plus community in Florida for several years. I’m a single woman, and I moved here for the weather and to meet new friends. In this community, there are “cliques.” One does everything together and never includes anyone else. The other is a combination of full-time residents and seasonal residents.
I’m “friendly” with almost everyone in each group. I work with them on committees, in clubs, etc. However, when it comes to socializing in the evenings or at the beach or parties, I’m seldom included by either group. Is this friendship, or should I look for friends elsewhere? — Ready, Willing and Able
DEAR READY: No, this is not “friendship.” You wrote that one of these cliques isn’t open to new members. The women in the second group may not welcome you because they feel threatened by your single status, which is why you are welcomed to “work” with them but not socialize. By all means look for friends elsewhere, possibly in groups in which there are other singles.
DEAR ABBY: My son, daughter-in-law and 1-yearold granddaughter moved across the country two years ago and have not once come to see us. They promised they would come as often as they could or, I should say, as often as she went to see her parents, which is every four months.
They now have a brandnew baby we haven’t seen due to COVID-19. They actually didn’t speak to us for nine months over a perceived slight.
Now they want us to come visit them. We desperately want to see our grandchildren. Please help us figure out what to do. Our son hasn’t spoken to his dad in seven months because of this perceived wrong. — To Go or Not To Go
DEAR TO GO: The longer this estrangement lasts, the more embedded it will become. You need to go, see your grandchildren and mend fences, if possible.
DEAR ABBY: When dining out in restaurants I often see people stack their dirty dishes at the table before or as the server removes them. This has never seemed right to me. — Binnie in Iowa
DEAR BINNIE: Try to be a bit less judgmental. Although what you describe is considered a breach of etiquette, there are people who are averse to having dirty dishes in front of them once they have finished eating.
DEAR READERS: Daylight saving time ends at 2 a.m. Sunday. Don’t forget to turn your clocks back one hour at bedtime tonight. And while you’re at it, put fresh batteries in your fire alarms and smoke detectors. — Love, Abby