College classmate makes weird requests

DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I work at the college where we were undergraduates. The school has a strong reunion tradition, and thousands of alumni come with their families to relive their college days.

In years past, I’ve had boundary issues with former classmates who come to town assuming they can stay at our house and think we want to entertain them late into the night.

We had to implement a

“no classmates at the house” rule.

One former classmate is persistent and asked if she can come “see” our house. When I said I’m not entertaining, she asked if she could come and look around without me.

Then she asked if she could just walk by my house and see what it looks like from the outside, which I can’t control.

How do I set boundaries with someone who wants to stand on the sidewalk and stare in my windows? We were friends 15 years ago, but are not close now.

— Career Collegian in the Midwest

DEAR COLLEGIAN: While you can’t prevent a pushy person from looking at your house from the sidewalk, you can tell her that her persistence is making you uncomfortable.

You might also point out that if you feel like having a visitor, the invitation will come from you and not vice versa.

DEAR ABBY: I moved to a conservative state to be close to my aging parents and become closer with my siblings and extended family.

After six years, my parents and a sister have passed on, and I’m wondering what I’m even doing here.

My political views are at the opposite spectrum from my siblings and extended family, which I can deal with as long as we don’t talk politics. My husband argues politics with them.

We’re no longer invited to family get-togethers, and they don’t initiate conversations or dinners. Neither do we.

They are very vocal about their politics, and relations are frosty with some of them. I don’t know how to repair relationships with them as long as they keep discussing politics. Please advise. —

Left vs. Right in Utah

DEAR LEFT VS. RIGHT: From what you have written, it seems your husband has been equally guilty of initiating those political rants. It may be too late to repair the damage that he has helped to create.

Because you are now estranged from those relatives, I see no harm in exploring options for relocating. Safe travels!