Finishing your project means less chat

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I need to find a way to convey to my clients that they need to stop calling me.

I’m fine having a long initial phone call or two at the start of the job. But some of them, mostly those over age 60, insist on calling with every little change. Of course, they want to chit-chat for 15 minutes, too.

I’ve told them: 1. I want emails, so that we both have a written record of the requested changes; 2. I work on 12 to 20 different jobs each day, and will get to theirs as soon as I am able; and 3. My phone is always muted so as not to distract me.

If they call repeatedly and leave tons of messages, I am LESS likely to call back because I am so irritated. I find their assumption that I will drop everything immediately to attend to their job rude and presumptuous.

Also, as nice as these clients are, if I had 15 minutes to shoot the breeze on the phone, it would be with a real friend.

On the whole, I respond via email to any phone messages and add the occasional reminder about calls not being ideal. But they just keep calling! Any other ideas on how to convey this nicely, but firmly?

GENTLE READER:

You could benefit from a more positive pitch. Every customer is important to you — so important that you make it a policy: 1. not to interrupt a job by taking nonemergency calls; 2. to document everything, so as to minimize mistakes and miscommunications; and 3. to respond promptly, if briefly, to customer emails.

Putting it this way will save you from having to defend why you do things the way you do. But what will really make a difference is demonstrating to customers that an email is the only way to get a quick response.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is at the age when she is being invited to a lot of weddings, some of which are out of town. She has a job, but her budget is limited, and some of these invitations require her to pay for travel and lodging. This means she is not able to give as generous a gift as she might to a couple whose wedding is local.

She worries that it is rude to attend the out-of-town events and give a smaller gift, rather than skip the travel and send a more generous gift. Is there any guiding rule here?

GENTLE READER: That the thoughtfulness of the gift, not its cost, is all that matters to a right-thinking bride whose wedding is worth attending.