Woman wants out but is thinking of son
DEAR ABBY: I am 26 and have been with my boyfriend, “Trey,” for eight years. We have an 18-month-old son. When I was six months pregnant, I went through Trey’s phone and saw he was cheating on me. I was humiliated, and it hurt me deeply.
I chose to forgive Trey because we were starting a family and I felt I owed it to my baby to at least try. But I constantly think about the things I saw on his phone, and I don’t trust him. If I even think about him going out somewhere without me, I get terribly anxious.
I’m not going to lie. I wasn’t a saint throughout our relationship, but when I got pregnant, I was all about Trey and our family. I love him, but I can’t seem to be happy. Sometimes, I want to break up with him so I can find someone I can trust and have peace with, but then I feel guilty.
Our son is a daddy’s boy. He loves Trey and is always asking for Daddy when his father is out or at work. It would break my heart for my son not to see him as often as he does. My parents were never together, and I always said if I had a child, I’d make sure that child had their mom and dad together. But I’m not happy with my relationship. Please give me some advice. — Failing in New Jersey
DEAR FAILING: Talk to Trey. Tell him how you feel and why. Has he continued to see other women? How does he feel about the status of your relationship? How important is it to him to be front and center in his son’s life?
The two of you are not married, thank heavens, so separating would not be complicated or costly from a legal perspective. You both deserve to be happy.
DEAR ABBY: I have a daughter and two granddaughters, 16 and 24. I live with my daughter, her boyfriend and my younger granddaughter. My daughter and my oldest granddaughter got into a heated argument over the phone about something the boyfriend posted on social media. They are no longer speaking and have blocked each other’s phone calls.
I feel lost. We used to all three spend one Saturday a month together, go on vacations and have family dinners on holidays. How do I get over this? — Missing It in Maryland
DEAR MISSING IT: A way to get past this would be to extend your social life beyond your immediate family. If you do, you will have more distraction and less time to brood about something that you cannot control.
You can still see your older granddaughter separately if you wish, just not under the same circumstances as before until this blows over.