Woman wants best for son’s girlfriend

DEAR ABBY: My son, who is in his senior year of high school, is dating a beautiful, sweet girl I’ll call “Amanda.” I’m very fond of her. Amanda told me her mom has said she will have to wear her older sister’s dress for graduation. Finances are tight for their family. I asked Amanda how she feels about it, and she isn’t happy.

I would love to buy her a gown. My daughter is two years older and says that soon the girls in school will be talking about shopping for their new gowns. I really want this experience for Amanda.

The problem is, I don’t want to offend her or her mother with my offer. Should I stay out of this? Should I approach her mother? I have met her mom only a couple of times, and I don’t want to step on any toes. Even if my son and Amanda are not together by the time graduation happens, I would still want her to have a dress of her choosing. — Offering Assistance in Canada

DEAR OFFERING: You are a caring woman. However, the subject of Amanda’s family’s finances is sure to be a delicate one. Do not discuss this with Amanda yet. Consider reaching out “mother-to-mother” and explaining that Amanda mentioned she might be wearing her sister’s dress for graduation.

Explain to Mom that you care about Amanda, and suggest that IF SHE WOULD ALLOW IT, you would love to shop for a dress she might like. Tell her you would like that to be your graduation gift to Amanda or, if this is something she’d prefer to be just between the two of you adults, you would reimburse her for the expense.

DEAR ABBY: My oldest daughter, “Teri’s,” motherin-law snooped into Teri’s text messages and found a cartoon I had sent of two early Colonials at a bar, one saying to the other,

“I’ve been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch.” An argument ensued over her looking at the texts without permission. Shortly after, I received a text from her mother-in-law with a middle finger emoji.

Sooner or later, our paths will cross, and I’m not sure what I should say. My text was meant as a joke — though the mother-in-law is not an easy person to get along with. I did not respond to her emoji. I blocked her number on my phone. What should I do? — Humorous Dad in the South

DEAR DAD: Tell the woman you are sorry “if her feelings were hurt” and explain that the cartoon was a joke, rather than a judgment of her personally — or, when you see her, laugh about the emoji, which was probably also meant as a joke.