‘Attention, everyone: The bidet is upstairs’

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Bidets are gaining popularity, but still have some novelty. At my home, I have the luxury of a downstairs powder room and an upstairs full bathroom, the latter of which includes a bidet unit.

When entertaining a large number of people, guests are made aware of both facilities (e.g., “There’s a bathroom to the right and another at the top of the stairs.”). Is it too much to mention to guests that the upstairs facility has a bidet so they can avail themselves if they prefer or would like to try one?

GENTLE READER: If you can do it subtly, as in, “There’s a bathroom to the right and another with a bidet at the top of the stairs,” Miss Manners will allow it. But only if you promise to then walk away quickly, so that you do not take undue notice of their choice.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My entire life, I have looked younger than my actual age. Throughout my teenage and adult life, people older than me at work and in my personal life have made comments (mostly well-meaning) related to how young I look for my age.

I mostly addressed these comments by responding with a simple “thank you,” sometimes adding “… but I am not as young as you think I am,” then redirecting the conversation to something else. Sometimes I would be asked to provide an explanation, and I would respond with the truth: “I guess I am just lucky.”

Now I am 51 years old — middle-aged — and those standard responses are increasingly unsuccessful with women my age and younger (who think I am younger than them). They seem to be looking for an opening to ask me very prying questions about beauty products, plastic surgery and Botox.

I am aging 100 percent naturally, and I tell them that I don’t use any special anti-aging products (I’m allergic to many ingredients in them), I don’t wear a lot of makeup and I have not had any plastic surgeries or Botox (I am very afraid of needles). But they often continue to pry, acting like they don’t believe me or like I am holding out on them.

Are there better ways to react to these comments and avoid the prying questions?

GENTLE READER: Not to engage in victim-blaming, but Miss Manners is afraid you may be inviting inquiry when you respond, “I am not as young as you think I am.”

Citing luck is about the most you can otherwise do. That, or telling them that your mother was a porcelain doll.

Submit your etiquette questions to Miss Manners at dearmissmanners@gmail. com.