Workplace crush leaves woman heartsick
DEAR ABBY: I am a lesbian who recently experienced heartbreak by falling in love with my mentor and boss. I didn’t want it to happen, but it did. The time we spent together was a balance of bliss and fear. My heart and soul feel that she feels the same way about me. I left my job because my feelings for her became so overwhelming, I could no longer cope.
She knows how I feel about her, and she has shown interest in me in the past. She is not gay, and we have a 15-year age difference. That doesn’t matter to me. I’m absolutely crazy about her. I dream about our Victorian home together. I want nothing else but to make her happy.
We are no longer communicating, upon her request. I want to heal my heart and live my life. It’s so hard to let go of her, but I know I should. On the other hand, something tells me I should wait for her. How can I move forward? — Crushed in California
DEAR CRUSHED: If you really want to find the love, then you are going to have to find someone who is ready and willing to provide it. This person is not. Asking you to stop communicating with her was a strong message.
It may take time and even counseling to help you disengage from your fantasy of an idealized life with this woman. It’s important that you try.
DEAR ABBY: My son got his girlfriend pregnant. She already has a 7-year-old by another man. Her mother kicked her and the baby out right after the baby was born, so I had her, her child and my grandbaby stay with my husband and me. What a big mistake that was.
All we asked of her was to clean up a little bit around the house. She lives here rent-free. She buys her food and will cook sometimes, but she leaves the pots and pans and dishes for me to do. She won’t lift a finger to do any other household chores. She works only part time, and I watch both kids when my son can’t. Am I wrong to be angry that she won’t help out? — Doing It All in Pennsylvania
DEAR DOING IT: This appears to be an example of “no good deed goes unpunished.” That said, you are wrong to be angry at your son’s girlfriend. You should be angry at yourself for tolerating her selfish behavior.
She AND YOUR SON should be working toward being independent. They are a family now. Lay down the law to your son and this young woman. Tell them EXACTLY what you expect of both of them — and that if they don’t comply, they will have to make other living arrangements. If you do this, you will be doing all of you a favor.