Losing the battle but winning the war

Dear Annie: I am writing in response to “Helpless,” the man who moved his family out of state and is now upset that his cheating ex has a close relationship to his relatives back home.

I think you’re off base with your advice to move home. He should stay where he is and seek counseling at his location. Become active in some community programs both with and without his children. This helps build adult friendships, childhood friends for the kiddos and a support group for the family. Plus, why should “Helpless” have to uproot his children yet again?

His ex will fall on the sword, and his family will want to reconnect. He needs to make a new life, and at some point, that will probably mean a new wife. Don’t move back; stay away. Moving back can trigger some deep, dark sides — not being good for him or the children. Building a new, better life will be far more rewarding. I know; I’ve been there. — Stay Put

Dear Stay Put: I certainly agree that “Helpless” needs to look forward and focus on building a better future rather than dwelling on the past. Whether he wants to do that in his new town or back with his family is up to him. Thank you for your insights.

Dear Readers: Many of you wrote in with advice for “Unfriendly Bet,” who took a gamble on a particular college football game with a friend from a rival school of his. The stakes were high: The two discussed, starting Jan. 1, the letter writer having to post a new picture of himself on social media in a thong every day for a year, holding a sign saying, “My school sucks.” The game was never close, and the odds ended up in his friend’s favor.

A number of astute readers noticed that the terms of the bet were not clear or nearly specific enough and argued the thong could have been worn over clothes or cleverly fashioned into headbands, hair scrunchies, belts, scarves, capes and even earrings. Others interpreted it to mean “thong” flip-flops -- all great, creative and appropriate solutions to an otherwise potentially embarrassing and risque photo prompt.

Here is a follow-up note from “Unfriendly Bet” himself.

Dear Annie: I wrote to you about losing the sports bet with my friend and having to post photos online. Thank you for the advice. I decided to take my medicine like a man. Honestly, I didn’t get blowback. Actually, the opposite for owning up to the deal. There are a few laughs, albeit at my expense, but generally good humor all around. Thanks for your advice! — Unfriendly Better’s a Great Sport