We welcome diverse viewpoints as long as we agree with them

Judge Waverly Flag is invited to speak to a class at a highly prestigious law school. Judge: Good morning, ladies and gentleman. I want to thank you and your professor for inviting me to speak to your class today on the right of free speech found in the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. Class: Boo! Judge: Huh? What’s all the booing about? Student A: You’ve offended our class by not addressing us with the proper terminology! We are not “ladies and gentleman.” We are “nonbinary protoplasmic containers of knowledge.” Judge: My apologies. I’m afraid I’m not familiar with some of the terms you are now being taught in your classes these days. But let me continue with today’s lecture: Free societies must maintain an open exchange of ideas in order to avoid the totalitarianism of one-thought, one-way and one-solution ideology found in dictatorial countries. Class: Boo! Student B: We don’t need your extremist “free speech” dogma taught in this class. We don’t want to hear it! (Others agree.) Your systematic bigotry is showing. You’re nothing but chauvinistic, misogynistic xenophobe! Judge: Well, I have to admit: Law school has certainly changed since I was here. We debated ideas based on their merits and faults. We looked for the facts and did not engage in “debate” by shouting stereotypical and orchestrated name-calling reductionism. Student C: I don’t know what you just said, but you are the epitome of our pejoratives, and you just don’t want to admit it! Student D: And hey, guess what? I can shout louder than you, and that makes me right and you 100% wrong! Judge: You know, I do consider myself a supporter of… Student D: Not with your views. You’re obviously a fascist and a nazi. Judge: Do you even know what these terms mean? The leaders of Germany’s Nazi Party totally suppressed free speech, just as you want to do in the United States. Where did that policy take their country and the world during the 1930s and 1940s? What did their hatred and suppression of those who saw things differently do for them? Student E: They didn’t teach us any of that. Our schools got rid of history because it was all authored by fiction writers. Now we know the truth, and there is no reason to consider anything else. So, go and take your fascist falsehoods elsewhere. Other students: Yeah, yeah! Get out. Get out!! (The professor in charge of the class says nothing during the entire outburst. Waverly leaves bewildered as to how our best students have become so totally intolerant of different points-of-view. A few days later, he receives a letter from the university president apologizing for the students’ behavior:) “Dear Judge Flag: After hearing about the incredibly rude and emotional behavior displayed toward you by students in one of our law classes, I wish to offer my sincere apology. I want to assure you that the policy of this university is to fully support the concept of free speech and diversified points-of-view from all perspectives. After a review of the situation with our esteemed and knowledgeable faculty, we now realize it was a mistake inviting you to our campus in the first place. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience we may have caused you. I’m sure you’ll find your views of the Constitution more acceptable elsewhere. Sincerely,” (Later, the Judge’s wife asks how his speech went at the university?) Judge: Oh, fine I guess. It was just another day in a country where college kids may have an abundance of everything except rational common sense. Steve Hansen is a Lodi writer and satirist. Contact him at news@lodinews.