THE PREGNANCY SCARRED HER BELLY, AND HER KNEES

A cesarean section left Laurel Holst, 38, with a lipped scar you can see through her clothing. Her pregnancies also gave her a varicose vein that runs down her right knee and a smaller one on her left side. The elasticity of her stomach has diminished and her breasts have shrunk to a point where they do not feel like hers anymore. She felt a lot of shame in the early months with her babies. She faced frustrating expectations about how long, how often and how much she should breastfeed. While she would never fault a friend for falling below those expectations, she chastised herself. When her breastfeeding journey was over, there was a sense of acceptance and accomplishment. Now that her children are 4 and 2, she’s proud of what her body was able to do and who she is as a person, a wife and a mother. But she’s still uncomfortable with the permanent changes in her body since pregnancy.