Ready for ‘I do’ or not?

Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 16. We are now 22 years old, have graduated from college and are working in our professional fields.

We moved in together last June. I am ready to get engaged and married and within three years start to have children. He is not ready for any of that because he feels he’s still really young.

We recently went to a friend’s wedding. He felt very uncomfortable about it (as did I) and we got into a huge fight. He said things that he regretted. How do I speed up the process of getting that ring on my finger?

Anxious

Dear Anxious: Let’s imagine that you successfully pressure your guy and get everything you want with the timetable you’ve attached to it. You get this by arguing about it and pressuring him. He relents because he loves you and wants you to be happy, because you’ve worn him down and because he can’t think of “valid” reasons to delay.

Your husband wakes up one day and realizes he’s 30 years old with three children. A vague unhappiness sets in. He wonders if he wanted the life he leads. He wishes he was single, and he blames you that he’s not.

None of this may happen, but putting the pressure on now increases the odds that you both will have regrets later. Table the topic for six months. Circle a date on the calendar when you mutually agree to talk about it.