One dozen ways to spin a box-office bomb away
The underwhelming numbers for Warner Bros.’ “Jack the Giant Slayer” remind us that Hollywood executives are masters of public-relations hustles — and rarely is that talent more dramatically displayed than in the wake of a boxoffice bomb. You will never hear a marketing or distribution executive publicly admit the truth: Our movie truly stinks, and we’re amazed anybody showed up. Instead, you will get all manner of excuses, fabrications and fibs. They generally can be divided into distinct categories of spin. 1. It may have fizzled here, but look elsewhere.
Jeff Goldstein, executive vice president for domestic distribution at Warner Bros., on “Jack,” which opened with $28 million (and cost in the neighborhood of $200 million to make): “Our audience in the United States was a little bit more narrow than we wanted, but the Canadian numbers are really strong, and the overseas reaction has exceeded our expectations.” 2. Don’t just focus on the weekend numbers. Consider the end of time as we know it.
Jeffrey Katzenberg, chief executive of DreamWorks Animation Studios, on the disappointing results from “Rise of the Guardians”: “We will wait and see what the outcome is. The audience gets to decide [its future]. There are clearly more stories that can be told.” 3. People really liked the movie. Just not very many.
Chuck Viane, then-president of worldwide distribution for Disney, on “Mars Needs Moms”: “The right audience came, but not in the numbers we needed.”
4. If only there had been
more parking spaces.
Nikki Rocco, Universal’s president of domestic distribution, on “This Is 40”: “You couldn’t get within the vicinity of a shopping mall this weekend.” 5. The guy’s box-office poison, but we love him anyway.
Rory Bruer, Sony’s distribution president, on Adam Sandler’s “That’s My Boy”: “I think with the R rating, it’s probably just one of things that people have to still kind of connect to.”
6. Anthrax scares.
Bob Levin, former head of distribution for MGM, on 2001’s “Bandits”: “‘Bandits’ was especially hurt on opening day Friday after a new anthrax case was reported involving an NBC news employee.... This was a self-imposed blizzard where a lot of people just didn’t want to go out of the house.” 7. Not our fault — the other guy’s movie was just more popular.
Dan Fellman, president of domestic distribution for Warner Bros., on “Dark Shadows”: “It’s hard for me to really digest where we’re going when you’re up against the second weekend of a blockbuster like ‘The
Avengers.’ ” 8. You try selling this turkey. And it cost so much we had to open wide.
Fellman on “Cloud Atlas”: “It played more like an art film. And yet with the negative cost involved, we had no choice but to hit the button.” 9. Our salvation is just around the corner. Honest.
Rocco on “Battleship”: “Yes, it’s a disappointing opening. But with the holiday weekend approaching, we do think ‘Battleship’ will be a choice for moviegoers.” 10. Audiences, even if tiny, are actually talking it up.
Dave Hollis, president of worldwide distribution at Disney, on “John Carter”: “While of course we appreciate the larger economics of the film, we’re encouraged with how it’s been received by audiences and hope to see that generate positive word of mouth.” 11. Who cares about box office anyway?
Steven Friedlander, executive vice president of theatrical distribution for CBS Films, on “The Last Exorcism Part II”: “It’s one of those pictures that will do well on video-on-demand.” 12. Blame the weather.
Bruer on how Hurricane Irene hurt “Colombiana.” “Not only were there closures due to the weather, but people were just not leaving their homes.”