Puzzled about ‘ proposal’
Dear Amy: I am a college student. I have had one serious boyfriend. We broke up at the beginning of this year, and I have grown up and blossomed since then.
I am, however, too afraid to be an active participant on the college hook- up scene.
One of my best friends at school, “Tate,” has been by my side through everything. He’s a great guy, but he is a player, regularly hooking up and doing his thing.
A few weeks ago, I drank much more than I usually do, and we ended up going home together. I don’t regret it because it helped restore my confidence and was kind of fun, but it made me think: Would I have done that if I’d been sober?
Last weekend, Tate got grossly intoxicated ( again), and I had to take care of him. He made multiple drunken attempts to get me to go to his room with him ( which I declined). I fell asleep in a chair in his room for a few hours, and in the morning we just cuddled, and it was very intimate.
We have openly said we’ve loved each other for a while, even though we were strictly in the “friend zone” until recently.
He casually said, “After how you took care of me last
night, I might have to wife you up ( slang for girlfriend — it’s kind of a joke phrase). Will you marry me?”
Did I just get casually proposed to?
What do I make of that … and where do I go from here?
Stressed Student in N. Y.
Dear Stressed: You and “Tate” need to switch beverages ( to coffee). My instinct is that a guy who says, “Wife me” to you isn’t really interested in or capable of the kind of serious relationship you might be moving toward. But the way to f ind out is to talk to him when he has been fully sober for at least 48 hours. Stay smart regarding your friendship with this player.
::
Dear Amy: My husband of 46 years can f ix and build anything.
“Barney” is 67 and says he is going to replace the roof on our small two- story barn storage building.
He said there is nothing I can say or do to stop him. He is in pretty good shape, but he has had many back problems and elbow pain.
I am so worried! This has caused me sleepless nights, nightmares and blood pres-
sure problems.
We can easily afford to have someone do the roof replacement.
Can you give me any advice? I have begged, pleaded, prayed — nothing seems to make a difference.
Barney reads your column daily; he hopes to start this project soon.
Worried in Wisconsin
Dear Worried: Please show “Barney” this statistic: According to the CDC, the No. 1 leading cause of injury death in Americans over 65 is “unintentional fall.” None of the more than 25,000 people who died in 2013 intended to fall, or die of a fall, and yet the statistics are very clear.
The leading cause of nonfatal injuries treated in emergency rooms for his age group? Yep, you guessed it: unintentional falls ( over 2 million in 2013). Your husband has a dangerous plan.
The cost of hiring a licensed, bonded and insured roofer to replace your roof would pale in comparison to the cost to your family if your husband were injured, or worse.
Send questions to askamy@ tribune. com or to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.