Six insider tips for the uninitiated
Though the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival has become a spring tradition, there are still many questions from folks preparing to attend the desert festival for the first time. The festival’s website has its list of tips, but here are a few of ours.
1 Coachella? There’s no secret route to get there. Are you playing
Are you a charter member of the Empire Polo Club and riding to the festival on your horse? Are you actually Goldenvoice chief Paul Tollett? If not, there is no undiscovered residential side street you can take to beat traffic. Indio knows all your tricks and will thwart you (though we do love taking Hjorth Street just so we can say the name out loud).
2 Reality is preferable to virtual. This year, Coachella introduced a new virtual reality app that promises to digitally drop fans into the middle of the field in Indio. That may be transcendent for those staying home, but if we see you actually walking around the polo field staring into a Google Cardboard face box instead of talking to your friends, we’re going to sic Axl on you for a virtual bout of “Get in the Ring.”
3 Have a meeting place. Cell reception drops to tin-canand-string-level reliability on the field. So when your friend decides that she isn’t leaving the dance tent if there’s even a shred of possibility that Daft Punk might show up, you’ll be glad you said ahead of time: “OK, meet at the firebreathing robot mushroom statue.”
4 Dress in layers. By day, Coachella is essentially a lawn-scented fashion runway showcasing the finest in barelythere lace and swimwear. Then the sun goes down, and everyone is instantly freezing in their Stevie Nicks hats and bikini tops. When temperatures drop at night, you’ll be thankful you aren’t stuck buying a $50 Calvin Harris hoodie just to get through the chill.
5 Bring cash. You’ll feel like a drug kingpin walking around with a bunch of bills tucked in your socks. But the ATM fees are ridiculous, the machines are often on the fritz, and you don’t want to be the guy trying to split a bar tab across a bunch of credit cards with a six-deep line behind you.
6 Relax a little. Feeling beat and want to skip the nostalgic dive into Guns N’ Roses? There’s an old Coachella koan that we made up, and it says, “She who sees everything at Coachella truly saw nothing.” You don’t lose scene points for showing up at 7 p.m. or posting up at the cocktail tent for the afternoon. You paid through the teeth — enjoy your vacation.