Guest is royally put out

Dear Amy: My 26-year-old niece is getting married.

Her wedding theme is “Royal Wedding.” She has, therefore, requested that family members of the bride and groom (mothers as well as aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents) dress in “royal” fashion matching her wedding colors: Men in navy suits, women and girls in navy blue or gold gowns.

I estimate this wedding will cost my family $600 (not including bridal shower and wedding gifts).

I truly feel like my niece is being selfish and self-centered to request people outside of the immediate wedding party, dress to her liking to fulfill her fairy tale royal wedding theme.

Is there a way I can respectfully decline to allow her to dress me (as I am not in the wedding party), or do you think I should cut my losses and go with the fairy tale royal wedding theme? Royally Challenged Aunt

Dear Aunt: “Cutting your losses” would not entail buying new outfits for your family to satisfy this wardrobe demand — no, this would only add to your losses.

It is acceptable for marrying couples to provide basic guidelines regarding the formality of a wedding.

It is rude for marrying couples to basically demand that guests adhere to a specific color palette or theme. After all, at some point, even at a “royal” wedding, guests should be treated as guests and not props.

You should wear whatever wedding-appropriate outfits you have on hand. Tell the bride in advance. If the bride excludes you from photographs, gracefully step aside.

Dear Amy: I am a junior in high school. I’m terrified that I won’t make the right college choice.

A couple of years ago, I decided that I wanted to be a teacher. I thought it was practical. I did a lot of research on colleges. However, I realized this summer that I wanted to pick a career path because it was something I’m passionate about. I have decided on photography.

Recently, I started redoing all my college research. I didn’t like the photography program at the college I had decided on, and I wanted to expand my horizons.

I have been looking at colleges out of state, but my parents don’t like the idea.

I’m afraid to tell my mother that I’d like to go farther away for college because she and my stepdad keep dropping hints that they’d like me to go to a school about an hour away. They keep telling me my dream isn’t realistic enough.

How do I decide on a career path that will impact the rest of my life? Do I assume that my parents are right and aim for the local college? Or should I push hard for what I want? A

Dear A: Your parents are (presumably) paying for college, and they will have a say in which college you attend.

At this stage in your life, you should be brave and bold and push hard for what you want. Visit colleges with your folks, research financial aid and scholarship options and make your best case.

Your folks might feel better about your photography major if you agree to minor in a subject they consider more practical. Discuss this with them.

Most of all, understand that your job is to explore, learn and grow. You might choose one school and/or major, and then choose to transfer later.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson by email to askamy@tribune.com.