The Crack Up QUEEN
From Laugh-In to Grace and Frankie, Lily Tomlin never fails to make us smile.
Lily Tomlin sits in front of a bookcase displaying her six Emmys, two Tonys, a Grammy, a Mark Twain Prize and a Kennedy Center Honor, among other awards. Tonight she will receive a new prize, the prestigious Screen Actors Guild Life Achievement Award.
Tomlin, 77, grew up in a Southern Baptist working-class family in Detroit. Her late parents, Guy and Lillie Mae Tomlin, moved there from Kentucky during the Great Depression. After dropping out of college Tomlin performed in comedy clubs in Detroit and New York. Her talent eventually brought her stardom on TV, in Broadway shows and movies including Nashville, The Late Show, 9to5 and All of Me. Her most recent movie is Grandma, released to critical raves in 2015, and she currently co-stars alongside her longtime friend Jane Fonda on the Netflix series Grace and Frankie.
What led you to show business? When I was a child, I invented shows I did on my back porch. I’d do everything—tell jokes, do magic tricks, tap dance, whatever I thought was engaging. I sold tickets. I’d cast the other kids.
No stage fright? I was fearless. I didn’t fear anybody or anything when I was a kid. I constantly was striving to challenge myself. It’s when I got into [show] business that I started to fear things [laughs].
Why did you want a show business career? Because I didn’t want to be married, so I knew I had to have a career. A friend in college said, “I’m going to the theater to read for The Madwoman of Chaillot. You should come along. There are a lot of small parts.” So I did. They asked me to play one of the women. I made a big sensation by improvising [my role] every night. I felt totally alive on the stage.
You didn’t want to get married? I didn’t want to be dependent. There was a double standard. I knew it from my own parents. My dad was able to drink, gamble, stay out and do whatever he wanted, and my mom had to stay home.
Tell me about your parents. They were from near Paducah, Kentucky, and came north to get work. My dad didn’t want to be a farmer. He became a big gambler
and an alcoholic. He died when he was 56. He had a sweet nature. I used to go to the track and to the bookie joints with him. And I’d go to church with my mother on Sunday. She was a Christian Southern woman, well-spoken and very sweet. I miss them so much.
And your younger brother? Richard’s an artist in Nashville. He paints. His boyfriend is from Paducah. They’ve been together 34 years. My brother’s gay too.
When did you go to New York? In ’62. I had a friend who lived over the B&H Dairy on Second Avenue on the Lower East Side. I stayed with her. I was going to study mime. I lasted three weeks at the American Mime Theatre. I thought, Oh, this is for the birds. I can’t even talk. [Laughs] I wish those days were back and I could live on Second Avenue again. I’d do it in a second.
And in 1969 you joined the cast of Laugh-In. I wouldn’t be this famous today if it weren’t for Laugh-In. I’d probably be running a little theater or something like that, because I had a lot of ideas. I knew what I’d like to do—get up late, go to the coffeehouse, eke out a living, be creative, make up stuff and share with people what I thought was wonderful, engaging or thrilling or funny.
Why not a normal life like most people? Why this need for attention? I could have been deeply lonely.
Are you lonely now? No. You’ve been in a relationship with Jane Wagner for 45 years. How did you meet? It was ’71. My Ernestine comedy album [This Is a Recording] had just been released. A mutual friend introduced us. As soon as I saw her, I just flipped. She’s very, very pretty. She’s a wonderful person, easy to relate to. Jane is rather introverted, although she has a lot to say! She’s terribly engaging and appealing, so gracious and fun. She’s not like anyone else. We started courting right away.
How? I didn’t fly on airplanes in those days. Several friends had died. The first thing Jane did was take me out to the airport. We watched plane after plane after plane take off and land. And Jane says, “Don’t you see how narcissistic it is to think that your plane is the one that’s going down?” [Laughs] So I got over it.
You said that you never wanted to get married, and then three years ago you wed Jane. Why? For a long time we [legally] couldn’t be married. This is embarrassing to say, but there was an interviewer on the red carpet who was always asking, “When are you and Jane going to get married?” And I’d say, “We’re not going to get married.” Finally, just to shut him up, I started saying, “Well, we’re thinking about getting married.” Then, one night [in Los Angeles] we went down to Van Nuys and got our marriage license. We then went to our friend’s house— she’s a lawyer—and we got married.
Are you glad you did? Oh, yes. It means a lot.
You’ve had a lot of success. How do you deal with celebrity? I’ve been very realistic. I knew it all recedes in time. You have low points, and you have higher points.
Where are you happiest? In my house in Sherman Oaks. We’ve had that house since ’99. I’m happy when I’m home.