Slick backdrops, pretentious tale
Patagonian landscapes in 16 mm and Hollywood real estate shot in 35 mm provide a visually sleek backdrop for mighty uninteresting relationships in the pretentious indie “Somewhere Beautiful.”
Commercials director Albert Kodagolian’s debut feature intercuts two stories of sought-after male artists in romantic turmoil with pretty young things: an arrogant American photographer (Anthony Bonaventura) on an Argentina location shoot whose translator squeeze (María Alche) is rapidly losing interest; and in L.A., a hotshot filmmaker (Kodagolian) moping over his beautiful wife leaving him and their 2-year-old daughter.
It’s as exquisitely insufferable as it sounds, from the retrograde view of women who care for/cater to/wring their hands over powerful men — must all the women look like models? — to the stilted rehashing of art-versus-life debates that were getting stale when Woody Allen began appropriating them from foreign films in the ’70s. The credits fess up to the whole thing being an homage to Atom Egoyan’s self-reflexive oddity “Calendar,” without justifying its existence beyond that hattip.
At one point, Kodagolian addresses his own heritage as an Armenian-born Iranian with refugee camp memories, and a kernel of intrigue develops, until he cuts to who he’s talking to — the accommodating cosmetology student (Matilda Lutz) babysitting his child — and “Somewhere Beautiful” reverts to navel-gazing bore. “Somewhere Beautiful.” Not rated. Running time: 1 hour, 15 minutes. Playing: Vintage Los Feliz 3.