Dancing etiquette at show

Dear Amy: I have a question about dancing etiquette. I am a middle-aged woman. My daughter and I recently attended a concert of the B-52s at a theater venue. Most of the audience members were my age.

People were seated and quite stationary during the concert. I wanted to dance but didn’t want to bother anyone.

Finally, a couple of people near the front started dancing, but the people in back of them complained that the dancers were blocking their view.

Is there a right answer when it comes to dancing at a concert in a theater? Wanna Dance

Dear Wanna Dance: What kind of superhuman can stay seated during “Love Shack”? (Not I)

I shared your question with my friend Dan Smalls, a concert promoter in New York and New England, who has dealt with acts ranging from Jackson Browne to Modest Mouse.

He responds: “This is a constant problem in seated theaters . ... There is no easy solution, except maybe to step to the side aisles if one feels the need to get up and groove — that way you aren’t in front of anyone except other dancers.”

I would add that a dancer might handle this by inviting those who are seated to dance, too.

Dear Amy: I had a happy middle-class childhood. I have three sisters with whom I had a good relationship until about five years ago.

At that time, my mother revealed that she asked my sister, a medical practice administrator, to look up my husband’s medical records to find out if he really had a diagnosis of a specific chronic neurological disease, as I had told them.

I’m stunned that my sister would be willing to violate HIPPA regulations and that my mother would then share it in what felt like a mean and provocative way.

I sent both of them an angry email demanding an explanation for what I see as a violation of the law and my trust.

I copied my other siblings on the email because I knew they would all discuss it, anyway.

I never heard another peep from any of them. They didn’t deny it or apologize for it.

My mother is 80 years old, and she’s not going to change. It really hurts that all of my siblings have gone silent. They all live on the opposite side of the country. I miss them terribly and want to mend the relationship, but I feel very angry about this. Diagnosis Dilemma

Dear Diagnosis: There is no question that what your mother and sister did was very wrong. Looking up your husband’s records and disclosing his diagnosis was a serious legal and ethical violation on your sister’s part. I assume she could lose her job over this.

You have made a mistake, too, however. Your choice to include all of your siblings on the angry email you sent to your mother and one sister violates their privacy, and almost guarantees that all parties will circle the wagons and shut down.

If you really do want to mend the relationship, you should make a plan to travel to see these family members. If you have any regrets, be open about them, and try to loosen this closed circle.