Do’s & don’ts of mentoring
While today’s mentoring programs may be a bit different than the “I speak, you listen” premillennial era from just a few years ago, effective mentormentee relationships — even the word “protege” is out — depends on two things: an individual willing to listen and an individual willing to learn. The difference is that today’s mentoring approach requires both from each participating party. With that in mind, we’ve created a do/don’t list for today’s mentors:
DO make your mentee feel
comfortable. Introduce them to others, learn a little bit about their life outside of the office–but never pry too much into their personal lives–and take an active interest in their career.
DON’T be a jerk. Your company has chosen you because the decision makers feel you can do a good job passing on your professional knowledge to others. It doesn’t mean they expect you to be overly demanding or ridiculously condescending. And no, just because you’re the mentor doesn’t mean your mentee has to get you coffee. DO help your mentee gain contacts
within the company and the industry. If they work in your department, find ways to get them involved in projects that you may not be a part of. Leave them to the appropriate people and have them check back with you if they have any questions or issues. DON’T monopolize their time. Respect your mentee’s schedule and find appropriate times and places to meet and discuss the latest issues at work. If possible, set up a weekly meeting whether it’s in person or over the phone. Keep an open channel of communication but don’t expect to have continual back-and-forth chats during the average work week.
DO a little research. You may be mentoring someone significantly younger than you or who has a background that differs from your own. If that’s the case, talk to others who are in similar demographics or do a little research to find out what someone 30 years your junior may or may not appreciate or understand about the nine-to-five culture you’ve been accustomed to your entire career.
DON’T create a mini-me. Your mentee has goals of his or her own so make sure you respect that. Don’t try to fit them into the mold you’ve set for your own career. Instead, find commonalities that can help them as they try to advance their professional standing.
DO some coaching. Mentoring isn’t just the sharing of information or the passing-down of advice. If you’re a mentor, you’ll be expected to actively engage with your mentee. That means helping out by digging in when they hit a roadblock or have a misfire at work. A mentor’s most valuable role is often that of a coach. You give some advice, provide an example and help solve a problem.
DON’T cut and run. Don’t be that mentor who only wants to provide the textbook feedback to his or her mentor and when those real-world issues begin to emerge, retreats back to his or her desk and continually ignores emails and requests to meet. If you do not want to actively engage with a mentor throughout the year or whatever timeframe your company sets, turn down the assignment. DO treat it as a learning experience. If you see the mentoring as a one-way relationship, you’re less likely to gain any helpful insight from the partnership. By asking questions and listening to issues, both perceived and real, you will only improve your ability to work with others within your company and your profession.
DON’T expect hero worship. While some mentees might seemingly fawn over your every word, that’s not part of the mentor-mentee relationship and probably not an effective learning experience. Some mentors get involved in their company’s programs for nothing more than an ego boost and are disappointed when their mentees don’t treat them with groupie-like reverence.