Make an effort to contribute at work

There may be many reasons people stay quiet when they’re part of a group. Sometimes, it’s because they’re not paying attention to the matter at hand. In other scenarios, it’s because they have little to no interest in a certain discussion, and sometimes it’s simply because they aren’t knowledgeable on the issues being discussed. In other cases, though, people stay quiet because they fear rejection and negative reactions, which are usually based on past experiences.

“I have worked with people who can immediately recall a time in school when they were teased by classmates because of an answer they gave in class. That stays with you,” says David Fell, a human resources specialist at the University of Toronto in Ontario, Canada. “People focus on the times in their lives when something caused trauma, even if it seems minimal to an outsider. They either learn from it and move on and get in front of it, or they dwell in it and let it shape their future relationships.”

Fell says he realizes he may be “looking too into it,” but he sticks to the argument that past experiences drive future experiences. “So when an employee comes to me with an issue, I work with them or get them the help they need to tackle that issue head on,” he says. “People talk about their unhappy place, how they get stuck in it. I want them to move on and create a better scenario the next time they’re in a similar situation. Then the recollection moves from the negative column into the positive column, and they can build on that.”

Fell says employees who lack in confidence can read up on various contribution strategies, sign up for speech classes, talk with their managers about working in smaller groups and more. “Managers want to get the most out of their people,” says Fell. “They’ll want to help you get to a better place.”

Speak up

Pia Contessa-Black, a New Yorkbased social worker who specializes in employment relationships, says shyness at meetings is often caused by lack of confidence. “I tell people: ‘Look, you’re there. You’re at the table. You don’t have to earn a spot. You already have it.’ But people think they don’t belong. They feel like they’re they shouldn’t call attention to themselves or they’ll be exposed,” says Contessa-Black. “That can be tough to overcome, especially if they lack confidence in other areas of their life. But our work should be how we create confidence to transfer to other areas of our life. It’s where we’ve been chosen because of our skills and our talents.”

Contessa-Black suggests employees write out the topics they want to bring up or comment on at meetings, especially if they’re given an agenda beforehand. “Take a look at what you’ll be covering and write out your reactions,” she says. “Then visualize what you’ll say and how you say it.”