A FILM BY ANY OTHER NAME WOULD BE NICE, WOULDN’T IT?
Is Hollywood running out of movie titles, or just trying to confuse everyone? Judging from a spate of similarly named films this year and next, the answer seems to be both. Consider a few examples:
“The Price of Everything,” “The Price of
Fame” “Free Solo,” “Solo: A Star Wars Story” “Outlaw King,” “Philosopher King,” “The
King” “Overboard,” “Overlord” “American Animals,” “We the Animals,” “Social Animals,” “Animal Crackers,” “Eating Animals” (all that’s missing is a 40th anniversary re-release of “National Lampoon’s Animal House”) “Cold War,” “A Private War,” “Private
Life”
“Early Man,” “First Man” “Searching,” “Searching for Ingmar
Bergman,” “In Search of Greatness” “Mary Queen of Scots,” “Mary Poppins
Returns”
At this rate, it may be hard to keep things straight on Oscars night. Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway had nothing on this. Gone, apparently, are the days of distinctive, memorable movie titles like “Casablanca,” “Jaws,” “The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill but Came Down a Mountain” and “Dude, Where’s My Car?” Instead, we’re subjected to a copycat cornucopia of “Dark” films, including “Dark Crimes,” “Dark Money,” “Dark River,” “Down a Dark Hall,” “The Dark,” “The Darkest Minds” and “In Darkness.” Sadly, things are about to get worse. Coming soon to a theater near you are even more new movies that sound suspiciously like existing films. First up, on the heels of “Black Panther” and “BlacKkKlansman” … “Black Panther Klansman”: After ingesting a heart-of-stone-shaped herb, Donald Trump’s first African American Supreme Court nominee develops superhuman originalism, an uncanny ability to see any case as if it’s happening in 1789. “There’s Something About Mary Poppins, Queen of Scots”: The tale of a magical but ruthless nanny who overthrows Elizabeth I with help from a kilt-wearing chimney sweep. The bagpipe-heavy soundtrack includes “A Spoonful of Sugar (Helps the Haggis Go Down)” and “Supercalifragilistic-LochNess-alidocious.”
“A Starship Trooper
Is Born”: In the distant future, film critics go to war against the 1,000th remake of “A Star Is Born.” Possible sequel: “Throw ‘Mamma Mia’ From the Train.” “Stir Crazy Rich Asians”: Returning to the U.S. from a friend’s wedding in Singapore, a wealthy young couple are thrown into jail by immigration agents. Comedy ensues. “Ben-Hur Is Back”: Julia Roberts stars as a suburban mom whose drug addict son comes home on Christmas Eve and hallucinates that he’s a Roman chariot racer. “The Girl in Charlotte’s Web”: A Swedish hacker and a gifted spider devise an unusual plan to expose prominent #MeToo perpetrators.
“Bohemian Rhapsody in Blue”: Queen sings Gershwin. “Hunter Killer Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Who Dumped Me”: A Russian double agent flees the U.S. in a stolen submarine after tampering with an election and breaking up with his American girlfriend. Based on novels by John le Carré, James Comey and Stormy Daniels. “Searching for Ingmar Bergman, Bobby Fischer, Sugar Man, Debra Winger, Et Al.”: Filmmakers unsuccessfully seek a non-hackneyed movie title.