She has a high sex drive

Dear Amy: After 25 years, my marriage reached a dead end, and I took the leap into singledom at age 63.

I am now a vibrant, attractive divorced woman with a lot to offer. I look forward to spending the next chapter of my life with a special man.

In the last year I’ve dated two men — both loving, ageappropriate companions — who claimed to want a longterm relationship. In both cases, their interest level was high at f irst but fell apart later.

In processing these failures, one issue stands out: I am blessed ( or cursed) with a high libido.

I’ve bought into the idea that men are eager to get naked. Imagine my shock at f inding the tables turned! Many times, I’ve been in a state of anticipation, only to have my lover say, “Sorry, I’m not in the mood,” triggering rejection, crushing self- doubt and frustration.

Older guys apparently are extremely sensitive around the issue of sexual performance. I’ve been told devastating things like, “I feel oppressed by your neediness,” and, “Maybe you should find yourself a young stud.”

Amy, I want an equal partner. In any case, younger guys want women even younger than they are.

Am I unusual, or have I just not yet found the right partner? On Fire in California

Dear On Fire: Sexual compatibility is as important at your stage in life as it was when you were younger. Yes, there may be fewer compatible men available to you at your age, but they are out there.

It is possible that men in your age group are especially sensitive, but you should also take stock of how you express your own wants and needs, in order to decode how you are communicating your desires and expectations. It might be best for you to be candid early on, versus perhaps waiting to develop an emotional connection before you experience a sexual one.

There are online matching sites that might be better suited to someone with a higher sex drive. And, yes, a younger man might be the hot ticket for you.

Dear Amy: I’m a romantically inexperienced teen girl. I’ve never had a real first kiss or been on a date. At 16, I know I don’t need a partner, but I want one. I’ve tried being shy and sweet. I’ve asked people out, but they’ve refused. I can be pretty and I’m smart. I don’t think I’m horrible. And yet I have no idea how to catch the interest of anyone who’s my type ( outgoing and confident). I feel helpless because they don’t want me, and creepy because — what if I’m making them uncomfortable?

I am homeschooled, but have made many efforts to meet other people my age. Do you have any tips? Plain Eponine

Dear Plain: Your impulses are not weird or creepy. They are normal.

My main suggestion is that you should embrace your smart and quirky side and become a joiner.

Homeschooling may have prevented you from having some important social opportunities — those friendship- building experiences that most highschoolers are exposed to.

Get involved in theater or other activities.

At your age, romance often blooms from friendship. Being part of a “tribe” can be a potentially romance- blooming experience.