New mom full of anxiety

Dear Amy: I’ve always been an anxious person, but ever since I had a baby, my anxiety has skyrocketed. I am terrified all of the time. I see everything as a threat to my daughter’s health and safety, and I am always envisioning the worst-case scenario where I end up losing her.

I feel helpless because I can’t protect her from everything. I question what kind of mother I am to bring a child into this world.

I have everything I’ve ever wanted — a beautiful, healthy daughter, a wonderful husband, a great dog, a good job, a nice house, etc. — and I’m petrified of losing it all.

As a mother, do you have any advice on how I can help manage these new-mom nerves? Nervous Nelly

Dear Nelly: My first suggestion is that you see your doctor immediately, describe your symptoms accurately and ask for medical advice on how to handle your post-partum anxiety.

There is no question that parenthood sensitizes adults to all of the risks surrounding their children. Parenthood also, quite simply, cracks the heart wide open to injustice, danger, and — most importantly — deep and abiding joy.

My own experience as a new mom might have been similar to yours. I became somewhat agoraphobic and was quite literally afraid of leaving the house with my baby. My concerned partner saw this happening and gently guided me and our infant to a park across the street, where I sat on a bench and cried. I repeated this pattern every day for a week. And then, our perambulations gradually widened as my fears subsided. Positive experiences built me up and bolstered my bravery.

For now, you should do your best to avoid specific external triggers to your anxiety. You should also work hard to introduce your baby to the world in small steps. The more times you cross the street with her in a stroller, the more adept and confident you should become. The more times you strap her safely into her car seat and navigate a trip to the store, the easier it will be.

It would also be valuable for you to connect with other parents. Understand that, untreated, your anxiety will transfer to and influence your child in a negative way. You want her to be brave in the world, and so you will have to learn to be brave too.

Dear Amy: In the early years of our marriage my husband and I had a small collection of pornography magazines.

We have not looked at these magazines in years, and I want to get rid of them. I don’t want to put them in the trash or recycling, and I’m at a loss for the best way to do this? Delicate

Dear Delicate: You should recycle these magazines. I suggest bundling your porn between two copies of Highlights Magazine (or your most boring catalogues), placing the bundle in a brown paper bag — cut side up (so the spine doesn’t show). Cut off any mailing labels before you do.

And then — in a daring pre-dawn raid — stash them in front of your neighbor’s house. Or time your curbside placement.

Alternatively, you could try shredding these magazines and recycling the shreds by containing them in a sealed cardboard box — this is to keep your shredded porn from blowing throughout the neighborhood.