Son left nude pix behind
Our 40-something married son had password-protected old files on our home computer. We had trouble with our hard drive. We told our son, but he said he couldn’t quickly remember his passwords to retrieve his own files.
We went ahead and had our computer repaired, and when everything was transferred off and then back onto our restored computer, the files were no longer password-protected.
I peeked at his files. Some of the photos he had saved are of his first dog and various cars.
Most of the photos, however, are the type that parents always tell their offspring NOT to take: nudes of various girls (including the one he would eventually marry) and nudes of himself. What do we do now? I don’t want him to email these files of photos to himself because then they’d potentially be “out there.”
Dear Parent: Simply return these files to him. Presumably he no longer needs you to host his personal files on your home computer.
Transfer all of the files (“girlie” and “non-girlie”) to a thumb drive. Delete them all from your home computer, and give the thumb drive to him.
Dear Amy: How would you respond to a relative repeatedly sending text requests that you purchase something for their “Business Shower”?
In general we do not receive any other communication from this relative, but we make it a point to reach out and say hello when we are in her town.
We have a policy of not lending or giving money to relatives due to past issues, plus I just view this as a personal fundraiser and in poor taste.
This person and her husband appear to live well. She could apply for a business loan, use funds from a line of credit on their home, or suck it up and learn how to operate on a shoestring budget while getting their business off the ground.
We have ignored the first round of group texts, hoping she would get the message that we do not wish to participate.
Clearly she did not, and now we receive group texts as well as direct text requests.
We would like to respond in a way that will encourage her entrepreneurial spirit but stop the requests for us to help to fund it. Showered Out
Dear Showered Out: Your relative doesn’t seem to be actually hosting a shower because there is no celebratory event. It sounds as if she has created an online registry and is asking people to purchase items from it to donate to her.
An actual shower-party would be a better idea and could be seen as a “prelaunch” as well as a marketing or networking event for their new business.
Some people trying to get projects off the ground set up online fundraising pages to raise start-up money. This can be a creative way to fundraise, and investors are often offered little incentives as thank yous once the business gets off the ground.
You should respond privately (not through group text). “Congratulations on your start-up! We look forward to learning more about your business once it’s up and running. If there are ways we can help you to network, we’d be happy to talk about it, but we aren’t going to donate. Please remove us from your group text.”