When customers get mad
I work in a small cafe. We serve a lot of visitors from out of town, have a good reputation and good reviews online, and are often very busy.
Lately, I have been feeling anxious about going to work because we have received some very negative reviews on TripAdvisor over minor issues. We have also had customers yell at us.
My employer has stood behind the employees in every instance, but I cannot help feeling extreme guilt over some of these reviews (in which I was one of the servers involved).
There are days when I have trouble forcing a smile for someone being rude. I have feelings and am trying to make everyone happy and serve them quickly!
I have two questions for you: As a public figure who receives lots of feedback — positive and negative — how do you distance yourself from all the online negative feedback?
My second question is about how to respond to obviously unhappy people. It seems to have become OK to yell at or berate a young person working part time for a minor mistake, or because it’s busy.
How do I balance being a good server with standing up for myself? Stressed Server
Dear Stressed: I receive a lot of online negativity, and I don’t always handle it well. I try to take criticism constructively. I try — always — to be polite, and in many cases, people react well when I respond well.
I do not go out of my way to find reviews. I don’t read through the hundreds of reviews of my books, or the thousands of comments posted underneath my column in the many outlets where it is published. Why? Because online commenters are most often talking to each other (which they have every right to do), and I have to get out of bed every morning and go back to my desk.
Unless it is part of your job description, you should not check online rating sites for reviews. Your manager should check these sites, and will handle responding to these reviews, using them to help train the hard-working staff.
Your job is to do your best to serve your customers, to admit any errors and address them promptly, to behave respectfully, and to learn and grow. People should never yell at you. When they do, you should assume that they are having a bad day, and you should never take it personally — even if they want you to.
This will be great training for any future job.
Dear Amy: I recently got divorced, bought a modestly priced house, and renovated the inside.
People are always pleasantly surprised when they come inside my home.
My dilemma is that they (often people who are providing a service call) will almost always ask me what I do for a living.
I am on long-term disability but don’t really wish to offer up this information, nor do I want to be rude.
Do you have a response I could use? Disabled and Stylish
Dear Stylish: If you don’t want to supply any information at all, you could respond: “Oh, I do this and that.” “I’m a freelancer,” or, “I’m between gigs.”
You could also respond to this question by saying, “Oh, why do you ask?” The answer might be: “Well, your home is so gorgeous. I wondered if you are a designer taking clients.”
Send questions to Amy Dickinson by email to ask amy@amydickinson.com.