Grandparents are cut out

Dear Amy: Our daughter and son-in-law got mad at us for not giving them some of their inheritance, and now refuse to acknowledge gifts we send to the grandkids.

They haven’t spoken to us or answered texts in over four months.

Should we continue to send gifts to our grandchildren? They live 300 miles away. The kids are 10 and 12. The adults are in their 40s and have master’s degrees. They make good money and live in a $600,000 home. We are retired. Generous Grandparents

Dear Grandparents: If these parents are deliberately punishing you in this way, then they are entitled offspring — and not very good parents.

No one should weaponize the relationship with the children to serve an agenda. The parents should not withhold a relationship between you and the kids, and you should not slink back in fear because they haven’t texted you.

I suggest that you call your daughter. If she doesn’t answer, leave a neutral message: “Hi, just checking in.” If you do speak with her, break the ice with some small talk: How is she doing? Are things

OK? Is everybody healthy? How are the kids? Do they want to say hi?

The message is, you consider the inheritance issue closed and are moving on. If your daughter does bring it up, then talk things through calmly — without giving in.

They could have fancy degrees and an expensive house, and still be up to their ears in debt. But — it is not your duty to bail them out.

As a parent, your daughter must recognize that surely there are times when her own children ask for — or expect — things she can’t or won’t provide. Good parents occasionally say no, and you are saying no.

And yes — to answer your direct question, you should continue to send modest gifts and cards to the kids to mark these special days in their lives.

Dear Amy: I met a really charming guy. He is so lovely.

He has five kids with two women (three with one, and two with the other). Doing the math, two of the kids are around six months apart, which means he had both women pregnant at the same time.

He says that I am different from them and that his exes are just crazy.

I know he led a double life with the other two women. Neither women knew this, for years.

His most recent ex says that even his family hid the other woman (with two kids and a baby on the way) while she was pregnant.

Ex #2 felt deceived by him and his family. She said that he would invent fights with her and then storm out. He was going to his ex.

My boyfriend says she is crazy, that all of this is in her head and that he hates her.

I feel sorry for him for what he has been through. He treats me like a princess and his family loves me.

Everyone has a past, right? Should I date him? Conflicted

Dear Conf licted: Knowing what you know about this guy and how he deceives and leaves the women in his life, you can’t say you haven’t been warned.

My advice to you is to double-up on your birth control, and insist that he use a condom (to protect yourself from STDs).

You should also prepare to be cheated on and then labeled “crazy” down the line.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson by email to ask amy@amydickinson.com.