Compassion for neighbor

Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I just bought a condo.

Most of our neighbors are really nice and have been respectful (for the most part). However, an individual in the unit directly below ours has been doing something that’s unsettling and disturbing to me.

He screams and shouts random words — for reasons unknown to us. Sometimes I can make out what he’s saying, and other times I can’t.

We’ve seen this individual before while getting our mail. We have tried to say “hello” but he just ignores us and looks at the ground.

Maybe he is disabled or suffering from a psychological condition. I’d like to pay him a casual visit to let him know he is disturbing us, but my boyfriend thinks I’m overreacting.

I don’t want to berate him for being loud and disrespectful. I simply want to let him know that we can hear him, in case he is unaware. Part of me wants to believe he’s just really into sports or video games, but I still don’t think we should have to sit back and just deal with it, especially if his screaming is directed at another person living with him and the situation could potentially be dangerous. Please advise! Earplugs 24/7

Dear 24/7: If you have a credible belief that your neighbor is harming someone, you should act on your concern by calling the police.

In the absence of that belief, before politely notifying your neighbor that you can hear him, you could discreetly raise this issue with your condo board — they might be aware of his situation and be able to educate you about what is going on.

There is a brain disorder called Tourette syndrome that causes people to vocalize in ways like you describe; these are called vocal “tics,” and may also be accompanied by sudden physical movements. This is not a psychological but a neurological illness.

This is from Tourette Association of America (Tour ette.org): “Tics may appear to be purposeful. However, tics are neurological in nature. They are often described as urges that must be completed. Even when they seem to be expressed in reaction to a current situation, they are not within the control of the person.”

Obviously, you should do whatever you can in your own home to mitigate or muffle the sound. Rugs (or more rugs) might help.

Dear Amy: I am the parent of a senior in high school.

With everything being shut down due to coronavirus, my senior is very concerned about graduation.

What do I do about graduation announcements? Do I send them, or wait until the school has decided whether to cancel the ceremony?

If I send them and the ceremony is canceled, what do I do then?

Wondering

Dear Wondering: When graduation draws closer and you are certain that your child is graduating, send out announcements.

These aren’t invitations to the graduation ceremony but justifiably proud announcements that your student as completed secondary education.

Your school will direct parents regarding the graduation ceremony.

If you invite people to the ceremony and it is canceled, simply contact each invited person to say so. We are all experiencing cancellations; people are disappointed but generally understanding.

You might want to plan to host a celebration — perhaps in late summer.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson by email to ask amy@amydickinson.com.