Babysitting would be risky

My wife and I have been self-isolating and practicing social distancing.

I am 71 and in relatively good health, although I do have a couple of “underlying conditions” (in addition to my age) that put me in a higher risk group.

My wife is 64 and believes she is not at high risk and “has never been sick.” She wants to resume babysitting our 3-year-old grandson.

Unfortunately, this has become a contentious issue between us.

I have suggested to her that I would not want her poor judgment to risk my well-being and offered as an alternative for her to stay with my daughter’s family so she could spend time with our grandson without compromising my safety.

She has declined this alternative but seems to become more depressed every day.

I would appreciate your thoughts. Perplexed Grampa in Florida

Dear Perplexed: Your “never-been-sick” wife could be an asymptomatic carrier of COVID-19 (so could you), and — if so — her desire to be with your grandson (at either house) could expose the little guy — and his family — to the virus.

I raise this possibility, because you should both be tested before you end your exile and should only venture back out into the world on the go-ahead from your doctor. Your grandson’s family should also be tested before mingling with you.

Each household should adjust their standards and behavior to the needs and risks of their most vulnerable family member. In your household — that’s you.

Your wife has legitimate needs too, and if her depression seems not to be lifting, or is worsening, please reach out to your family doctor for a referral to a therapist.

Support groups also offer free, nonjudgmental support and guidance during this challenging time. Social media is the most widereaching way to connect. Search “coronavirus support groups” on Facebook and click on the “groups” tab at the top of the page.

Dear Amy: With great disappointment, our nephew has canceled his wedding reception next month due to COVID-19 but will still tie the knot as scheduled, with only parents and siblings present.

The reception for family and friends is now scheduled for June of next year.

Our families would like to know when to send wedding gifts to the couple. This seems like more than an etiquette question in these strange times. Sending them now would honor the event, let them know we are thinking of them, and celebrate their union with more immediacy. If we wait until their reception next year, perhaps the thought of receiving gifts might be more celebratory for the couple.

These two folks don’t NEED anything, but we love them. Devoted Aunt

Dear Devoted: When it comes to wedding etiquette, the pandemic seems to have opened up an entirely new set of challenges.

There is no one way to respond to a postponed wedding, but the best way is always to anchor to sincerity and kindness.

I suggest you send your gift (along with a warmly written letter) to coincide with their wedding ceremony. You might also want to donate masks or other PPE in their honor to a nearby hospital or nursing home.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson by email to ask amy@amydickinson.com.