Men behaving strangely

Dear Amy: In a previous column, “Disappointed” relayed a strange statement that her (married male) friend and neighbor made about wanting to “kiss her face” all over when the pandemic ended. It occurred to me that all of the isolation and masking has been having a really weird effect on some married men.

Our youngest daughter works at a local outdoor business, helping customers and doing hard, sweaty, manual labor. Almost every day she tells us about the inappropriate behavior of some male customers. They get way too close to her and make extremely flirtatious or suggestive comments to her with their wives standing just a couple of feet away.

Perhaps they think their mask prevents their wives from hearing what they say. The wives clearly do hear it but don’t react, which is also strange. These men may also feel they can intimidate female employees more at this time because they desperately need their jobs and won’t make a fuss. Social isolation is not a good thing. Mad Mom

Dear Mad Mom: I suppose it is possible that isolation and mask-wearing has prompted strange behavior (not confined to men). Your daughter should speak up if any customers are sexually inappropriate toward her.

Salespeople are expected to put up with a lot of challenging behavior, but no service worker should have to tolerate suggestive or sexual comments. If a customer is standing too close, she should say, “Sir, you are standing too close. Could you please step back three paces?” (People sometimes forget to maintain distance, especially outside, or they may have a hard time hearing someone trying to speak through a mask, so they instinctively step closer.)

And if a customer makes an inappropriate comment to her, she might say, “That is inappropriate. I’m going to look for a male salesperson to assist you. Hopefully, you will not use this same language with him.”

Dear Amy: I consider myself to be an easygoing, “lowmaintenance” person. I also pride myself on being considerate and expect the same from close friends and family.

Here is my quandary: I recently celebrated my birthday. Year after year, my husband’s brother and sister neglect to send me any well-wishes, despite the fact that we are quite close. They have been told repeatedly when it is, and reportedly “put it in their calendars.”

My husband reminds them after the fact, at which point I get belated wishes and apologies.

Also, both of their birthdays are within weeks of mine, and I always send them a text wishing them a great day.

I am trying to “rise above” this but am at the point where I want to stop trying on this front. I hate being petty, but this is hurtful. Forgotten Birthday Girl

Dear Forgotten: When people behave in a consistent fashion, year after year, the fact that you continue to expect them to behave differently says more about you than it does about them.

Dialing your own expectations down to zero would truly be the gift that keeps on giving.

Behaving well should not be transactional, but if it makes you feel like a loser to acknowledge their birthdays, then stop. Your in-laws might be relieved to fall off your birthday-greeting list.