She left just after recovery

Dear Amy: Three years ago, I was diagnosed with bone cancer. I went through 2 1⁄ years of chemotherapy

2 and six months of stem cell treatment.

I am now cancer- free, and I feel great compared to how I felt in those three years.

Before and during that time, I was with a woman. We did everything together. Never had an argument. Never raised our voices. My family and friends all loved her, as did I.

She treated me lovingly when I was sick, but I couldn’t do things we used to do. My sex drive was gone. But I got better. I started feeling like my old self.

Then I was hit with a bombshell. She left me two months after I got well. I was crushed. I cried like a baby. I asked her why, and she said she felt like she was only existing, not living.

I think she met someone while I was ill. It hurts so deeply. My family, friends and her daughter were devastated.

She said, “We both need to move on with our lives,” and I’m trying, but it’s hard.

What do I do now? Besides go on with my life?

I’m working, but it’s tough by myself. I know I won’t give up or give in, but this still hurts.

Any words of wisdom? Heartbroken in Dallas

Dear Heartbroken: Conventional wisdom might suggest that someone who hangs in there through the worst of things would then breathe a sigh of relief and commit to being there during recovery. But people leave. Your partner might have been exhausted by the caregiving she did during the worst of your illness.

I suspect that she might have wanted to leave just before, or maybe during your illness, but hung in there out of duty, guilt, loyalty or compassion for you.

And what you must do now is go on with your life.

You are doing this, in gradual steps that will become strides. Your recovery from this breakup might parallel your recovery from cancer. Look at each day and celebrate your smaller victories. Write them down: a good day at work, a conversation with a friend, a creative project, an extra lap around the track, increased physical strength, another day of cancer- free living. You are demonstrating impressive resilience and strength. Recognizing that will be an important building block for the new and improved you.

Dear Amy: Every time my mom put dinner on the table I said, “Thank you,” up until her death, and I am 56.

When I prepare meals for friends, family, work colleagues or when we go out, it seems that saying thank you after a meal is the norm.

I now live with my fiancé. His son spent a month visiting us. Every night I provided a healthy, homecooked meal: garden vegetables, shrimp, filet, pork, fish, salads and grains. Never once did I get a “thank you.”

The last night, I said, “I hope a different meal routine and food variety was a nice change.” He said, “Nah, I always manage.”

The lack of expression of gratitude infuriates me.

What are my best options to communicate this?

Gracious, Resentful Cook

Dear Gracious: Don’t blame your fiancé’s son for not biting during your attempt to f ish for gratitude. He sounds unsophisticated.

Your fiancé should model kindness, respect and gratitude and show his son that a grateful diner also clears the table and cleans up.