Deborah Lynn Aguilar

60, Salinas

In 2002, Deborah Lynn Aguilar’s son Stephen was driving home from a neighborhood convenience store when shots rang out from another vehicle.

A single bullet struck him in the head, killing the 18-year-old, who had just graduated from high school. The shooter was never found.

Aguilar healed by helping others heal. She founded a support group and spent the next 18 years comforting those who, like her, had lost loved ones to gun violence in Salinas.

She would rush to crime scenes to hug shell-shocked parents and let them know they were not alone in their grief. She helped organize marches and vigils in Salinas and Sacramento and Washington, D.C., to give voice to the dead. She and other bereaved mothers spoke to Soledad state prison inmates to steer them away from violence and gang life.

“She helped a lot of families,” said Aguilar’s sister, Christina Duran. “My sister was a beautiful example to everyone.”

Every Christmas, members of Aguilar’s group, A Time for Grieving and Healing, held a memorial vigil in a Salinas park for victims of street violence.

They would light a Christmas tree, and Aguilar “would be Mrs. Claus and read to the children and give them gifts,” Duran said. Afterward families would go to a nearby church hall to share a potluck meal and display photos of those they had lost.

Sustained by her faith and her church, New Harvest/Legacy, Aguilar remained strong and upbeat in the face of death. Her husband, Oscar Aguilar, died in 2013. A nephew was fatally shot in 2015; neither he nor Stephen were gang members, Duran said.

“My sister was always the one who kept us together. I’ve never seen her break down. Everybody went to her. … She was there for all.”

Aguilar was in good health until she was hospitalized with COVID-19. She died Jan. 23 at Natividad Medical Center in Salinas. She was 60.

“We never expected this,” Duran said. “I hate COVID so much.”

In addition to Duran, Aguilar is survived by her children, Sergio, Francesca and Christopher; five grandchildren; brothers Robert, Paul and Anthony; and nieces, nephews and cousins.