At least friend came clean

Dear Amy: A friend recently returned from abroad. He is struggling to find a full-time job, so we let him stay at our place for a month and a half (rent-free) while we were away. We did this as a favor to him.

When we returned, we realized he’d damaged a piece of furniture by using a homemade cleaning solution on it. He also turned a (very expensive) alpaca blanket into felt by washing it.

We let the furniture damage slide as a simple mistake, but when I brought up the blanket, he only offered to pay for half of the cost.

I know mistakes happen. I know it’s dumb to spend an inordinate amount on a blanket. I also realize I could have been clearer about how to care for these things, but am I in the wrong to be frustrated by his offer to pay only half of the cost to replace it?

Since we returned, he’s traveled by plane to visit other cities, which leads me to believe he’s not completely cash-strapped.

I feel like I’m being a snotty, privileged jerk, but it still rubs me the wrong way. Annoyed Samaritan

Dear Annoyed: While you easily categorize and forgive one piece of damage as “a mistake,” you seem to put the other item in its own special drawer.

I would categorize these incidents as “mistakes,” and frustration is a proportional response. Does your friend owe you the total replacement cost? I don’t think so.

He was obviously concerned about keeping your house and belongings clean (both mistakes are cleaningrelated). I assume that other than these items, your belongings were in acceptable condition on your return.

I wonder if you have considered the value of having someone living in your house, keeping an eye on things, while you were away for several weeks.

Protecting your more treasured property from others’ well-meaning mistakes is your responsibility.

I think you should accept your friend’s offer and get yourself a new blanket.

Dear Amy: My husband and I live in a side-by-side duplex. The small backyard is divided by a low fence, and we each have our side.

New people recently bought the adjacent unit and have redone their side of the yard with sod, trees, firepit, hammocks, windchimes and a large trampoline, which they set against my side of the fence, about 15 feet from my kitchen.

They have three kids who, understandably, are crazy from being cooped up during the pandemic, but I am working at home and can’t enjoy my backyard or concentrate on work when kids are bouncing and screaming 15 feet away.

I like these people. They just seem oblivious to the considerations required when you live in such close proximity to your neighbor. Do I have to just suck it up? Stressed in Suburbia

Dear Stressed: Ask your neighbors if they’d feel comfortable meeting you outside. Bring a plate of brownies. Admire the improvements they’ve made.

Tell them, “See that window there? That’s where I’m working these days. Can you try to keep your voices low when you’re playing outside and I’m working inside?”

You might put a red stop sign in your window during your busiest work hours as a visual cue.

Aside from making them aware of the impact on you, they are kids, and kids are bound to be noisy. Headphones might work for you.