Memorable wedding tales

With wedding season upon us and inperson celebrations returning, I decided to devote a column to wedding mishaps.

Perhaps reading about some of the things that can go wrong at a wedding will inspire people to avoid these pitfalls. And if they can’t be avoided, marrying couples can try to embrace them and laugh about it all later.

Dear Amy: My long-ago boyfriend invited me as his “plus one.” Once we got there it was obvious that he was invited solo, as there was no table card for me.

My father once said, “There’s always someone at a wedding who shouldn’t be there.” That time it was me! Plus One

Dear Amy: My two brothers-in-law offered to be our wedding photographers.

My sisters had each just had their first-borns.

There were a few photos of my husband and me, but most were of their little darlings.

The other photos were of my husband’s buxom cousin in her revealing cleavage. Busted

Dear Amy: My friend and his date “Sheila” were heavily making out on the dance floor. Sheila later hit on multiple other (married) guests and then told my mom how hot she thought the groom was. My mom replied: ”Yes, that’s my new son-in-law.” Good Times

Dear Amy: An unsupervised child at my wedding was running around and ran into a door. Got a nosebleed. The mother went to my father (father of the bride) to demand the venue’s wedding coordinator be fired for negligence. They stormed out when my dad refused.

(The child was fine!) Still Married

Dear Amy: We were letting immediate family members know the date we’d finally chosen for our wedding before booking vendors.

My parents said, “But we have Notre Dame football tickets that day.”

We tried other dates but all interfered with their football ticket schedule.

We don’t talk anymore. Fighting Irish

Dear Amy: I locked the keys in a running limo in front of the church (in the ’80s), which meant needing a phone book and the minister’s office phone to frantically find a locksmith. Locked Out

Dear Amy: I was a member of a flash mob at the reception. Another member of the mob couldn’t kick as high as he thought he could (due to tight suit pants) and ended up kicking the bride in the head. Everyone was fine. We Have Video!

Dear Amy: In my 20s I was in a friend’s wedding. A bunch of us rented a room together. I woke up in the night with a pounding head, so I drank a glass of water.

It was a groomsman’s contact lens solution — and his lenses. Tastebuds Are 20/20

Dear Amy: My college roommate wanted a childfree wedding, but her family pitched a fit that children wouldn’t be included. At the reception, one niece ran circles around the room, then vomited on herself on the dais during the meal. I Won’t Have What She’s Having

Dear Amy: On the receiving line at my wedding, a guest told me, “If I’d known you didn’t have a nice dress, I would have lent you mine.” Dressed Down

Email questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@ amydickinson.com.