Siblings’ calls are intrusive

Dear Amy: My wife and I have been married for almost 25 years.

We are now almost empty-nesters with one daughter in high school.

My wife has a brother and a sister close to her in age.

I have an issue with their family dynamic that is magnified now that we are older. The two siblings call my wife at all times of the day or night just to chat.

Her brother is divorced and lives alone, so he has no reference to downtime.

Her sister is married, but she too calls whenever the mood strikes.

This happens daily. My wife and I both work and have hectic days. By 8 or 9 p.m. we are ready for dinner (we both contribute equally and share the household chores) and to spend some quality time together.

Part of this is my wife’s fault because she will always answer their calls no matter what we are doing — and then chat about whatever the day’s topic might be.

I know that if I try to bring this up my wife will get mad, and the situation will only get worse. Any suggestions?

Frustrated

Dear Frustrated: This isn’t “partly” your wife’s fault or responsibility. The choice to take a call in the evening and converse with a sibling over nothing in particular is entirely her responsibility.

Your wife’s phone is equipped with a feature where she can see a call coming in and, with the press of one button, send an autotext saying a variety of things: “Please text me,” ”I’ll call you back,” etc.

You seem quite nervous about making your wife mad, with the added concern that she will retaliate, making things worse (for you). Is your fear and acquiescence the key to your long marriage? I hope not.

Sit down with your wife and say, ”Can we agree to a moratorium on being on our phones in the evening starting at 9 p.m. or so during the week? I would really like to set aside some time for us to be together as a family without interruptions.”

If your wife refuses to discuss this, arrive at a mutual solution or retaliates against you for suggesting it, then you’ve got a bigger problem.

Dear Amy: My three children have given birth four times among them.

At each birth, the labor was “attended” by groupies — parents, mothers-in-law, sisters, friends, etc.

Also the husband — possibly lost in the crowd.

I refused to participate in these mob vigils.

During the course of the proceedings a constant string of text updates and comments was issued.

I announced that I would stay home and await the traditional phone call. One time, the birth was announced with only a text!

I told everyone that I regarded a birth as a solemn, intimate and very private event for the new parents. They thought I was goofy.

Are people livestreaming labor on Facebook yet?!

Disgruntled Granny

Dear Disgruntled: I understand your impulse to let these babies be born without your presence crowding the room, but for many centuries and in many cultures, birth has been a community event, attended by relatives, friends, doulas, elders and children.

The choice should be up to the parents, and others should respect their desires.

I assume that births are being broadcast live on Facebook — Reason Number Infinity why I am no longer active there.