Member of the wedding?

Dear Amy: My wife’s sister “Georgia” and her fiancé, “Jon,” are getting married in March.

Their Save the Date cards were sent out with a wedding website listed.

As my wife and I were looking at the website, I was taken aback by seeing my name listed as a groomsman. I have yet to be asked by the groom or bride to be part of their day.

I feel like I should not have to reach out to them, but now I also feel obligated to be part of their day. Am I being petty?

The Petty Groomsman

Dear Groomsman: Your internal reaction to this surprise doesn’t seem petty (to me), but even if your reaction is actually and objectively petty — so what?

I give you official permission to have a full-on petty party. I’ll bring cupcakes.

Once you’re done, I suggest you react to this frankly and with good humor.

If you don’t want to assume this honor/obligation, you should definitely let the couple know — sooner rather than later.

If you are on the fence about this, contact both of them (via email, phone or text) to say, “I hope your wedding planning is going well. Marcia and I were looking at your website and I was so surprised to be listed as a groomsman! I assume this was an oversight, but I think you forgot to ask me to be part of the wedding party. I’m in the dark about this, so please do fill me in.”

Remember this: You will never regret being polite — even when reacting to what you perceive as rudeness.

Dear Amy: My wonderful grandmother would be almost 120 years old today. She was an artist and a forward thinker who lived to be 97. She was one of the first women to graduate from Oberlin College and earn a master’s degree from Columbia.

Gram was a part-time teacher and a prolific painter. She never sold much of her work so when she downsized, her family took a few pieces and the rest sat in my parents’ garage.

When my parents downsized, they gave a few of her paintings to the grandchildren and great-grandchildren who asked for them. The rest are now in our home. And to pile on, my dad (her son-in-law) spent his last years making paintings.

Last month, my mother moved to an even smaller place. We got their collection. At our house, we have over framed 50 paintings in piles filling any empty space we had. Everyone in the extended family has the pictures they want. These are the extras. What are we to do with them?

We can’t just throw away Gram’s or Dad’s paintings. My husband thinks we should treat them like the f lag, with respect, and have a burning party. I’m not sure my mom or I could take that.

We’ll probably remove the pictures from frames and roll them up so they take less space. But someday, we’re going to have to do something with them. We welcome any suggestions.

Drowning in Art

Dear Drowning: Before hosting a dignified burning party, I suggest you at least try to find appreciative new homes for your paintings.

You could check Ebay and Etsy, and research other art-centered online sites.

Your grandmother’s work, especially, might attract attention because of the history of this accomplished woman. You might ask the art department at Oberlin if they’d like a donated piece.