Putting guests to the test
Dear Amy: My daughter and her fiancé are working on their wedding invitations. They wish to invite only those who have received the COVID vaccination who can also show a negative test result prior to the event.
They want to protect vulnerable friends and family members with health risks (i.e., cancer patients and elderly people).
However, the groom’s mother is putting a lot of stress on the bride and groom to invite her unvaccinated brother and his unvaccinated family because she doesn’t want them to be upset and wants to be able to keep peace within the family.
What would you suggest in this situation?
Mother of the Bride
Dear Mother: First off, this is the couple’s wedding, and parents should not pressure them to invite anyone they don’t want to invite.
However, if the couple plans to invite only vaccinated people to their wedding, this puts them in the position of policing or asking for vaccination proof.
What about guests who have had two or three vaccinations but no recent boosters? Or guests who are vaccinated for COVID but not the flu (which seems particularly nasty this year)?
I do think that reminding guests to take a COVID test at most 24 hours before the event would be helpful. The marrying couple could have rapid tests on hand and ask guests to arrive 30 minutes before the ceremony to selftest before entering the venue — and provide masks and encourage people to wear them while inside.
Immediate pre-wedding testing could be a whole new thing! I envision soft music to mitigate the anxiety as people await their results.
It would be thoughtful for these hosts to remind their medically vulnerable guests to keep up with their boosters, get their flu shots and wear a high-quality mask.
Dear Amy: My husband, who is a wonderful person, has a habit of retelling various stories. That’s fine, but one story drives me crazy.
He has passed kidney stones, which he says (and I believe) was very painful.
His sister also had kidney stones. She has given birth to three children.
My husband says that his sister told him that kidney stones are much worse than childbirth and she would give birth “anytime” over a kidney stone episode.
I have never had kidney stones, but I have given birth and it was no picnic. I find it irritating that he compares the two and tries to one-up me on pain!
Do you have an appropriate response?
No Stones
Dear No Stones:
Your husband isn’t comparing the pain of childbirth to kidney stones — his sister is. She has experienced both, so isn’t it possible that for her, this is true?
After researching your question, I think it’s possible that passing a large kidney stone can be more painful than passing a large baby.
A woman’s body and mind prepare for childbirth. Women anticipate the pain, have a variety of medical and nonmedical strategies to deal with it, and know that when the pain is over, they will have a baby.
With a kidney stone, there is a lot of mysterious pain before the stone passes, and then as it makes its way into the bladder, the pain can be extremely intense.
I can understand that this habit of your husband’s is irritating, but neither experience is a picnic.