Los Angeles Times

Marriage isn’t the answer

- Email questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@ amydickins­on.com.

Dear Amy: I am a 23-yearold personal trainer. I’m good-looking and muscular, and older females hit on me.

I was seeing a 38-yearold; she is in a long-term relationsh­ip, but her man wasn’t satisfying her, and we were hooking up three or four times a week.

We went on a three-day bicycle trip last summer, and I got her pregnant with twins. (She forgot her birth control.) Her man knows the whole story and is willing to raise the babies and make me their godparent. I am glad he is willing to do that.

I am currently seeing a 34-year-old beautiful, divorced girl and we just found out I got her pregnant. I don’t know if I should offer to marry her, but I am thinking about it. Your advice?

Tempting Trainer

Dear Trainer: For someone whose profession­al expertise concerns the human body, you don’t seem to respect the longer-term ramificati­ons of your fertility.

It’s vital that you grasp the basics of birth control, as well as the legal, financial and emotional repercussi­ons and responsibi­lities of fathering children.

Given how cavalier you are about offering up your muscular DNA for procreatin­g, you don’t seem mature enough to become a father or a husband.

If you or your current or future sexual partners don’t want to raise children, always use a condom. Always. In fact, you might want to double up. Get tested for STDs, and urge your sexual partners to do the same.

As for offering to marry your girlfriend, I’ll put it this way: If she were writing to me, I would advise her not to become matrimonia­lly entangled with you.

You don’t mention loving — or even liking — her.

Dear Amy: I suffer from major depression and social anxiety.

I’ve moved to a new state and am slowly making friends. I live alone in a studio apartment and work from home. I’m struggling with feelings of loneliness.

I want to get a pet companion but I’m having a hard time deciding between a cat or a dog. I love both equally.

I think a dog will be the most helpful for me because I struggle with going outside and getting regular exercise.

I’m also introverte­d, so I’m hoping daily walks will help me meet new dog-loving friends. However, I’m not experience­d and I’m a lowenergy homebody.

I’m worried that having a cat will keep me in the same cycle of laziness as always.

I don’t think I’d have the patience for a puppy, but a small adult dog might be good.

What if it’s a complete failure and I still don’t change my habits?

I’d appreciate advice.

In Need of a Pet

Dear In Need: Your reasons for wanting a dog (companions­hip, being forced to go outside) are legitimate, and are the same reasons many people choose dogs.

However, because you lack experience I would caution you to choose extremely carefully. Does your apartment building allow dogs? How easy would it be for you to take the dog outside three or four times a day, via stairs or an elevator?

Whether you go with a cat or a dog, I urge you to look for a small, quiet, calm, older animal. Work with your local shelter and take lots of time to find the best fit for you.

Adoptions do not always work out. My local shelter says any animal adopted from them can be returned to them, no questions asked.

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