A real apology is required

Dear Amy: A few weeks ago, I ran away from home because I couldn’t get my way. I wasn’t gone the day.

When I came back my mom felt disrespected because of what I had done.

Since then, she hasn’t talked to me because I never apologized. She thinks that I should have apologized after the situation happened.

I understand this. When I look at what I did, it was really dumb, but I wouldn’t say I like talking about it.

I really don’t want to continue our relationship as a family if there is no communication.

How can I make her talk to me? What should I do?

Troubled Teen

Dear Teen: You and your mom have actually communicated. After you came home, she communicated that she felt disrespected and she wanted an apology.

You say that you understand this, yet it sounds as if you haven’t apologized.

Your mother should not be freezing you out. She is supposed to be mature and forgiving. She’s supposed to know what to do and how to act. And yet parents are people. They get their feelings hurt and don’t always know what to do.

I think you should write to her. Explain how you were feeling when you chose to leave home, and how sad you feel now. Tell her, “I know this must have been scary for you, but I wasn’t thinking about that at the time, and I hope you can forgive me so we can get back to being a closer family.”

Your school counselor might be able to help.

Dear Amy: “Hank” and I work in different departments. Occasionally he travels to my area to communicate with my colleagues. He would then strike up a conversation with me. Everyone noticed his flirting and the chemistry between us.

After a few months, I worked up enough courage to ask for his phone number. He happily obliged and we texted for about two weeks.

All of a sudden, Hank hit me with, “I have a girlfriend, so I don’t want to give the wrong impression.” I was so thrown off, I deleted his number and blocked him.

He’s totally different now. He’s very short with me in passing, but he seems to have taken a liking to my coworker, who sits next to me.

They have conversations like he and I did. She’s told me she is starting to like him.

I’ve told her to go for it, but in reality, I just want to die when she talks about it.

I hate how jealous he makes me when he talks to her, and I hate how I still like the guy, but I don’t have many options except to just sit there. It’s almost like he makes it his business to talk sweetly to her right in front of me knowing that he just rejected me weeks ago.

Or maybe I’m overthinking it and need a new job? What should I do? This is messing with my head.

Dying at Work

Dear Dying: You’ve done nothing wrong. You were assertive and authentic when you followed through on Hank’s flirtation. He then let you down with a “soft pass,” using the reason (true or not) that he has a girlfriend.

Just as you’ve done nothing wrong, he really hasn’t, either. His chill toward you might be because you’ve blocked his number.

The way for you to behave now is to rise above it, to be natural and charming, to excel at your work, and to not let this episode change you in the slightest.

Do not change jobs, unless you are unable to wrangle your discomfort.