Seeking volume control
Dear Amy: What words of advice would you have for addressing someone who is in a public place having a loud and personal phone conversation on their earbuds (or phones in general)?
No one wants to hear it. It makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable.
KQ, in Kentucky
Dear KQ: I believe people yell into their cellphones while they are using earphones or earbuds because they can’t hear themselves very well because their ears are plugged by earbuds.
People tend to quickly believe that they are isolated when engaged in a private cellphone conversation — even in a public space.
Landlines have microphones in the earpiece so speakers can hear themselves. Cellphones don’t seem to use this function.
The so-called “Lombard effect” describes the human tendency to raise our voice to match the noise around us, even when unnecessary. Yes, this is annoying! I’d like to augment this gripe by adding an annoyance: people who use FaceTime in public. I understand that all grandparents find their grandchildren adorable and compelling, but must they visit with these children over FaceTime at a crowded restaurant? And again with the yelling!
Listeners tend to be more annoyed by overheard phone conversations than they are by overheard inperson conversations. When we overhear only one side of the conversation, our brain can’t help but try to fill in the missing pieces.
Only once have I confronted someone doing this. I approached a man who had shared some sensitive and proprietary information on the phone while sitting next to me at a Starbucks. I told him I was a reporter and had been taking notes.
Other than trying to make eye contact and putting your finger to your lip in the universal “shhhhh” gesture, I don’t know how to respond to these intrusions.
Dear Amy: My friends and I are having dinner at a casual restaurant when the table next to us leaves behind a bottle of wine that is half-full.
Shall we grab it and celebrate, or leave it to the restaurant?
Dilemma in Denver
Dear Denver: If swiping wine from a nearby table after the diners have finished their meal is your idea of a true dilemma, I will guard my French fries with more than the usual ferocity the next time I dine near you.
These diners paid for this wine and it is not appropriate for you to decide what to do with their leftovers.
I shared your question with Meaghan Frank, vice president at the familyowned winery started by her great-grandfather and an instructor for the Wine and Spirit Education Trust.
Her response: “There are several issues here, hygiene being one. Taking this wine is also not fair to the restaurant and staff. If your group decided to drink it at your table, you would be taking up the table for a longer period, preventing the restaurant from turning the table over, and likely affecting the server’s income for the night.”