Los Angeles Times

Time to end all contact

- Email questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@ amydickins­on.com.

Dear Amy: A real estate agent helped us through numerous deals within a short 18 months — expertly, deftly and patiently. In the end she closed a total of five local sales, all through us.

Because of this, she won an award from her prestigiou­s agency and became their No. 1 regional agent.

She still texts/calls/ emails often, wanting to get together for lunch, coffee, dinner, etc.

While working together, we took her out several times to thank her for her efforts, but it has been a year since we closed everything. We are maxed-out, both emotionall­y and financiall­y.

After declining her invitation­s many times, I am at a loss. I avoid her calls. This leads to her texting, which I also ignore.

When all else fails, she SHOWS UP at our house. If we are not home, she will just ring the doorbell (knowing that because my elderly father-in-law lives with us there will be at least one adult at home at all times).

Last time she showed up with chocolates and candy, which my father-in-law ate. I asked her not to bring any more sweets because they endanger his health, and she got mad and then announced that she would bring a “yellow cake soaked in condensed milk.”

She has been constantly updating us on our “old homes,” telling us what the buyers are doing with the houses. This also tells me she is constantly dropping in on these other properties.

I do not want these updates, and told her so.

Is there anything else I could be doing? I can’t take much more of this.

Exhausted

Dear Exhausted: Create a log of this person’s unwelcome contacts, in the unlikely event that you need it. Keep a screenshot of her texts and your responses.

Continue your ghosting campaign. If she doesn’t taper off but responds by showing up at your house, send an email to her office address: “It has been over a year now since the last real estate transactio­n closed, and we’d like you to know that we have no need to hear from you further. Please do not continue to contact us, and do not ever show up at our house unless invited.”

You should then block her on your phones.

If she violates your wishes, consider contacting the real estate company she represents to share your concerns about this boundary-crossing agent. She may need more training — or a mental health referral. You also could investigat­e getting a restrainin­g order.

Dear Amy: Our youngest son and daughter-in-law bought their first home. My wife and I gave them a cash gift (abiding with regulation­s) to help them with their down payment.

Do you think we should give our oldest, unmarried son an identical cash gift?

We would give this money to our oldest son if he ever decides to purchase a home. We told him this. However, we also realize that he may never choose to buy a home.

Undecided

Dear Undecided: If you can afford to, yes, I think you should offer the same amount of money to your eldest son, for him to invest as he chooses.

Many prosperous parents believe that home ownership is a necessary step toward building wealth, but people who came of age in the 2008 recession and mortgage crisis might not see home ownership as a solid marker of financial stability.

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