‘Nice guy’ assaulted her

Dear Amy: My husband and I are in our mid-70s.

“Steve” is 20 years younger. He befriended my husband and started stopping by our house, offering help with technical problems.

Steve would chat with me and then head to the “man cave” to watch sports on TV, etc., with my husband. He seemed nice.

A couple of months ago, Steve grabbed my face with both hands and kissed me full on the mouth. This was not a friendly peck on the cheek. He overpowered me.

I was so shocked. I just stepped back and was silent.

After that, whenever Steve was expected at the house, I would “hide out” in my backyard studio.

One day he arrived earlier than expected, and when I opened my door, he was standing in the doorway.

I pushed past him and left. I decided to tell my husband what was going on.

To my surprise, he didn’t seem to think this was a big deal. He refused to stop this guy’s visits to our house.

I had to threaten to leave him before he agreed not to have Steve in our house.

My husband likes the help Steve gives him with his computer. Yesterday he asked me to reconsider having him over. He says he’s a “nice guy.”

I said that he is a creep. I feel terribly disrespected and hurt, and I don’t know how to get over this.

Betrayed Wife

Dear Betrayed: Steve sexually assaulted you.

Your response to the assault is normal. You were shocked and tried to get through the moment. Then you avoided this person because you didn’t feel safe.

I find your description of this guy’s presence in your lives disturbing.

If he did this to you, it is possible that he will commit a crime against your husband too. Steve should NOT have any access to your computers/accounts or personal information.

I can imagine how heartbroken you must feel that your husband isn’t more supportive of you.

When Steve steals your husband’s identity, he might feel differently.

You have some decisions to make, including perhaps pursuing this through the criminal justice system.

A restraining order would legally keep him off of your property. Then you wouldn’t have to worry about your husband’s weird and worrisome efforts to bring him back.

Dear Amy: My wife and I are having a baby in two months. We are very excited.

My mother is very excited too. This will be her first grandchild.

The other day my mother brought up the idea of bringing her dog with her into the delivery room.

We all love this dog (and my mom), but this seems bonkers to me. She says it will be great for the newborn baby to get used to the dog and that the dog will be like an “emotional support animal” for all of us.

My wife hates this idea, but I’m not sure how to respond to my mother.

Worried Future Dad

Dear Worried: Reword this sentiment: “Hell to the no,” and take it from there.

The hospital won’t allow a dog in the delivery room.

And you should not allow your mother in the delivery room either.

Your child’s birth should be shared by you and your wife as a private event.

You are going to need a lot of practice in establishing healthy boundaries with your mother, and this is the place to start.