Don’t ignore that instinct

Dear Amy: Most mornings I walk by myself on a forested walking trail.

I keep a special eye out for my safety (regularly checking over my shoulder). (I’m a fairly attractive 33-year-old, or so I’ve been told.)

Recently, one man in his late 40s has starting appearing on my walks. At first he seemed OK, so I said “hello” to him after he greeted me.

But I quickly started to get what can only be described as creep vibes, based on how he was looking at me, the way he’d try to engage me in conversation (versus a simple hello), the way he’d show up on the more secluded parts of the track and seemed to be waiting for me.

I stopped saying hello because I wanted him to get the hint: I’m not interested, so leave me alone. Yet he keeps persisting; his behavior is getting weirder.

I’m changing the time I walk so I won’t run into him. But I want to know what is socially acceptable.

Women seem conditioned to think that we must be friendly, but I don’t buy it. And while I want to expressly tell this man to get lost, I don’t know how to say it in a way that doesn’t engender a dangerous response. What if he is a deranged stalker? What if he has deluded himself into thinking that my not saying hello is a signal for interest?

I’m worried that’s the level of crazy I’m dealing with.

What would you do? Solitary Walker

Dear Solitary: The first thing I would do is to find another place and time to walk. (You’ve done that.)

I would also notify whatever entity is in charge of this trail. Others might have reported similar concerns.

I would also consider walking with another person and/or carrying a bottle of protection spray.

Next, I would override that inner voice about what’s “socially acceptable” and focus on self-protection.

I would also reread “The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence.” Author Gavin de Becker instructs us to pay very close attention to our body’s signals for when we are in danger, and to act on those instincts.

My suggestions might seem like a serious overreaction to what others might believe is nothing more than an annoyance.

But you should never disregard your own instincts. This is “the gift” of your own fear, and this fear, concern and caution is legitimate.

Dear Amy: My wonderful fiancée and I are getting married in two months. We have shared planning duties really well, and we’re looking forward to our big day.

We are planning for around 100 guests.

We sent out “Save the Date” cards, and last month I sent the invitations via the U.S. mail. This was my job.

About 35 people have submitted their RSVP. What about the rest?! We’re worried that people don’t want to attend and that we will have to scale back our plans dramatically. I feel like a loser because this was my responsibility.

What should we do? Nervous Groom

Dear Nervous: This is universal. It’s not you, it’s them.

Now is the time for you to rattle the mailbox.

If you have a wedding website, post a notice: “We’re still waiting to hear from some guests. Have you RSVP’d? If not, click here...”

Otherwise, start emailing/texting people. Don’t blame or shame them, but give them a nudge.

One month out, call all of those left on the list.

Email questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.