Over-the-top gift requests

Dear Amy: How should I react to some of the baffling requests for gifts and money when invited to wedding showers, weddings and baby showers?

I just received an invitation for my niece’s baby shower.

Request No. 1 was for a book instead of a card. OK, fine, but she is asking people to give this, along with a gift.

She then offered for guests to enter in a raffle if they would bring a package of diapers. This is in addition to the gift and the book.

She then said not to wrap the gift, and to have it sent directly to their home, so she could visit with her guests instead of opening these gifts in front of them.

At a baby shower for a friend’s daughter, I felt I’d broken the rules when I gave a gift that was not on the registry.

Am I just overly sensitive because I got married at the courthouse and don’t have kids?

Can I decline some of these events and send a notso-extravagant gift?

Petty?

Dear Petty?: Remember this: Anyone can ask for anything. It’s a free country!

But receiving a request does not obligate you to do anything, except to politely RSVP to an invitation.

Back in the Stone Age when I was an expectant mother, baby showers were held in someone’s living room; gifts were opened in front of the guests and a parade of tiny onesies was held up for everyone to appreciate. The guests were thanked and acknowledged at the time and a note would be sent to each of the guests afterward.

My insight into modern baby showers comes from a few I’ve attended more recently, which are held in banquet halls and attended by dozens of women. Unwrapped gifts are placed on a table and guests pick up their preprinted “thank you” note on the way out of the venue.

(I do like the trend toward not wrapping gifts at these huge events, due to the waste.)

Registries can be extremely helpful, but you are not obligated to buy a gift off of a registry.

Dear Amy: I need a gut check.

I’ve been with my girlfriend, “Stella,” for three years. We are in our late 20s.

Stella is great. She is gorgeous and loving and very nice. Everyone loves her. I do too.

The problem I’m having is that she is extremely gullible. She believes whatever conspiracy nonsense has most recently floated through her social media feed. Most of this misinformation has to do with health-related issues. Her latest bit is that cellphones cause brain cancer.

She can believe whatever she wants, but now this is starting to interfere with my own life because she is trying to influence me.

I’m thinking of breaking up with her, but this seems like a trivial reason to break up with an otherwise great person. Can you weigh in? Bored

Dear Bored: What a person thinks — and how a person thinks — is not a trivial matter. According to you, your girlfriend is also trying to control you.

Do you want to go through life having to defend your own rational choices?

Do you want to possibly have a family with someone whose views about health and wellness are so radically different from your own?

I sincerely doubt it.