OK to out sex offender

Dear Amy: I have a neighbor who was convicted of a sexual offense involving a “child.” He served jail time.

I don’t know the exact circumstances, but I know the term “child” may include a person as young as an infant and as old as a teenager.

The offender is married with two young kids. I know he and his wife want to keep his history private.

However, the other neighbors around where I live are not aware of the situation and their kids play and interact with the sexual offender’s family.

Do I need to inform the unknowing neighbors about his status as a sex offender, or should I remain silent?

Uncertain

Dear Uncertain: You don’t say how you know about this offense, but you should take it as a given that these neighbors don’t want others to know he is a convicted sexual offender. But this is not up to them.

Convicted sex offenders are assigned a status: level one, two or three. Level one is considered “low risk of reoffense” and level three “high risk of re-offense.” Each state maintains a sex offender registry.

You can check the registry within your ZIP Code to see if your neighbor is registered and what the classification is.

The registry exists because people should know where sex offenders live because of the need to protect children from predators.

Wearing this virtual scarlet letter is the ongoing consequence of committing a sex crime against a child.

Your neighbors should reveal the offender’s conviction. If he is classified as lowrisk, they should reveal that and explain the circumstances — for instance, if he was 19 and had a sexual relationship with a person under the age of consent in his state.

I am suggesting that the convicted offender and his wife do the ethical thing by notifying others of his criminal status. They most likely won’t do that, so yes, you should let parents in your circle know.

People notified should make every effort to independently verify the information through a neutral source, such as the sex offender registry (nsopw.gov).

Dear Amy: My 4-year-old takes a short nap after she comes home from preschool.

After her nap yesterday she came down the stairs and her hair had been cut!

She denies doing this and is very upset.

Her bangs were cut all the way up to her hairline. One whole side was cut short, the other left longer.

I am worried that she would do this. It seems dangerous and self-harming. And she denied doing it, so she’s lying.

My husband and I are not sure what to do about this or how worried we should be.

Worried Parents

Dear Worried: Children this age seem compelled to cut their hair. And most of them lie about it.

This is not self-harming. This is beautifying. And curiosity. And a growing awareness of how scissors work.

Stay calm and good-humored. Tell your daughter that hair takes a long time to grow and now that it is cut, she will have to be patient while it grows back. Tell her that scissors are very sharp and that she needs to ask you if she wants to use them.

Take her to a salon or barbershop to have a professional even things out.

Her preschool teachers are a great source of wisdom. Ask for their advice.