New game show host espouses ‘The Newlywed Game’

Frank Sinatra sang “I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a King” (“That’s Life”). I’ve been five of those — not a king — but until this past week I’d never been a game show host.

In order to explain, I have to retreat 58 years.

In 1966, Robert “Nick” Nicholson and E. Roger Muir developed an American television game show that put newly married couples against each other to answer a series of revealing questions to determine how well the spouses knew or didn’t know each other.

Chuck Barris composed the theme music and produced the show.

“The Newlywed Game” debuted on the ABC network on July 11, 1966 (we’d been wed five years by then so would not have qualified).

The show got an edge up as it was scheduled to compete with CBS’S popular “Password.” But, that day CBS started “Password” late to allow for the telecast of a news conference held by then-defense Secretary Robert Mcnamara.

That allowed ABC to catch the viewers who had seen Mcnamara’s act before as they broadcast just as the conference began. People thought the new concept was entertaining and as the weeks passed more and more viewers tuned in to “The Newlywed Game” and it became a hit.

The adjustment cost CBS dearly, within 14 months “Password” was canceled.

One of the items that made “The Newlywed Game” successful was the arguments that couples had over incorrect answers in the form of mistaken predictions.

It even led to some divorces; honestly, if you had that level of disagreement as a newlywed it didn’t foretell a 10-year anniversary celebration.

The other element that led to viewer interest was naturally innuendos and double entendres in both the questions and the answers.

The original host, Bob Eubanks, was particularly adroit in his questioning and ad-libs. His favorite euphemism was “making whoopee” (you know what he meant even if you didn’t watch the show).

The writers used this to dance around the 1966 censors’ stern review, circumventing script changes.

Even in later years when the censors were more flexible Eubanks kept the catchphrase as a part of the act.

The show ran from 1966 until 1974 making it the longestrunning game show in ABC history at the time. “Family Feud” replaced it with its nineyear run in 1985 — I don’t know if any of the newlyweds made it to the family level by then.

I suspect with today’s moral dilemmas of couples living together for years before (or if) marriage the show would lose its spontaneity.

A creative producer could have produced a trifecta beginning with “The Dating Game” followed by “The Newlywed Game” and concluding with “The Divorce Game.”

With that as the background, let me explain how I became (for an hour) the host of “The Oldlywed Game.”

The Village has been creating some new and fun entertainment for gatherings of its residents.

The CEO and I moved there eight months ago and have been doing some volunteer gigs. I present “Once Upon a Year” monthly to a group; we just reviewed 1944.

As a result of that visibility, I came to the eye of the activities manager. She asked how I would feel about playing the role of “Jimmy Eubanks,” Bob’s long-lost cousin.

That seemed like a lot of fun. So, we established our format: two couples who had been married for a loooong time, and were willing to have some fun with the game. Names came and went until we finally secured our two pairs. The afternoon we chose was Valentine’s Day, an appropriate celebration of matrimonial compatibility.

To stay with the theme I wore a white shirt and red tie and a sport coat I hadn’t worn in months — as the only non-management employee of “Trivially Speaking” my dress uniform is T-shirts occasionally coupled with sweat shirts and jeans.

I topped it with a black (my normal hair color is silver, not a choice on the driver’s license) pompadour wig purchased for the occasion. Photos showed me it was hilarious; I thought it looked suave.

We had a one-man stage band to provide theme-related music and kicked off the show.

An example of one of the questions I asked to the wives was “Describe your husband” in one word. One answer came back as “food” the other as “sensitive.”

I then asked the producer to describe her husband in one word and she said he wasn’t here to respond. I said I’d fill in then she replied “sexy” that didn’t match me so we deferred to the returning husbands.

The remainder of the “show” matched those answers punctuated with ad-libs.

I cannot remember a time when the attendees laughed as much.

Perhaps you have a group that would like to play the game. I’m available without the wig.