Learning that joy can come from fear

The lights go out and she’s tucked under blankets. But what looms beyond her cotton comfort is a world of shadows, mysterious creatures behind her curtains, or stuffed animals that come to life at night. All daytime rules and sunlit visibility are now gone and her imagination creates its own vision. There are so many possibilities, so many shadows, creatures in the closet and monsters lurking under the bed.

Lately, the fears have been growing and changing. I guess the fears change and morph with her increasing knowledge of the world — some things are easily explained and some are not. The “not” part is where reality fades and imagination improvises, and, in a 6-yearold mind, the imagination runs wild.

There are so many fears she has in this big giant world. Fear of a caterpillar on the loose in her room. We once caught a caterpillar and put it in a jar, only to find out that hours later it had escaped. Sleep was hard to come by that night not knowing where the childeating caterpillar lurked.

In the summer, when we make our pilgrimage to the pool, a usually safe and happy waterworld, all of a sudden there is now the fear that sharks are in the deep end. Although we’ve explored all the pool filters and discussed how a shark could not possibly fit through the pipes, or the fact that sharks need saltwater and a bigger container, like, say, an ocean, to survive, she still is wary of the 8-foot depths.

She is also now afraid of older kids. I’m not sure exactly why — maybe it’s their size, their slinky movements and loud voices. Maybe she fears their judgment of her? Whatever it is, it causes her to hide behind my legs as she stealthily peers out to sneak a glance.

There are different kinds of fears — fears that are primal and fears that are taught and learned. She’s learning to navigate the two. Certain fears are meant to help us survive — her fear of sharks is pretty primal. Who isn’t afraid of sharks? And some fears are learned and we are meant to overcome

There are different kinds of fears — fears that are primal and fears that are taught and learned. She’s learning to navigate the two.