A friend or just a bar buddy?

It could have been any night, and it could have been any two guys. After work or something, the two sat at the bar. Whiskey was ordered. So was beer. But that sounds much easier than it was. It actually went something like this:

Do you have this? Do you have that? Why don't you have this? Why don't you have that? You should get this. You should get that. I have had this. I have had that.

It's called “measuring” and I don't mean liquids because there is usually another word placed before “measuring,” one that isn't appropriate for a family newspaper.

I get it. I understand it. Because I see it nearly every day.

Once they got through the measuring contest they really got down to business. Sort of.

“My girlfriend is driving me nuts,” said the man in a trucker's hat.

“Can't live with them, right? said his friend, also in a trucker's hat.

They both laughed.

If you can't bond over things you don't like, it's possible to bond over things you don't understand.

When we think of friendships, we often think of likes shared in common. But sometimes it's not what we “like,” but what we don't like that brings us together. Don't believe me? Just go on the internet and take a look. See how many likes a post's negative comments get. It can be sobering, so to speak.

“You can do better, dude,” the friend said.

“You're probably right,” the first man said.

If you can't bond over things you don't like, it's possible to bond over things you don't understand.

“I only have time for one,” he said trucker on another occasion, but this he was a knit stocking cap.

“Whipped,” said his buddy, also in a stocking cap.

Two more drinks, and there was an intense text exchange with someone not at the bar. Three more and there was a phone conversation outside.

“Come on, one more,” said his friend when he returned.

In the bar equation, the friends people gravitate toward are the ones who want to do things, not the friends who don't want to. Co-conspirators I think they are called. Nobody wants to hang out with the guy who doesn't want to go into the city at midnight. Or the gal who doesn't want the side of fries. Or the friend who says, “We both have to work, maybe we should get going.” How does the old