Grandmothers refuse to follow practical gift-giving request

DEAR ABBY: Our 11-year-old has learned to lie, and we feel terrible about it. Because she has a sensory processing disorder, clothes are a useless gift because the seams and fabric are often uncomfortable for her. We have repeatedly asked family and friends not to gift her clothes, but her grandmas are in denial and often do it anyway.

Our sweet daughter has decided that sparing their feelings is more important than asserting her own, and I’m worried this behavior will teach her that her feelings are less important than other people’s. How do we teach her to be polite and honor her own feelings and wishes without offending well-meaning relatives who cannot understand that she doesn’t appreciate or value these gifts? – MAMA BEAR IN TEXAS

DEAR MAMA BEAR: Of course

by Bigar

(March 21-April 19): Today generates a hectic pace. A chance to correct ongoing problems at work will present itself. Gather information and sharpen your skills. Your charm and appeal are in top form. You’ll be motivated and can accomplish much, but don’t push too hard or overreact. Tonight: Relax.

(April 20-May 20): Finance is always one of your favorite topics, but this is especially true today. There can be some confusion concerning exactly what your monetary circumstances are. First impressions should be heeded as you make financial plans now. Tonight: Online retail therapy.

(May 21-June 20): The present nobility in you will be highly visible at work today and make an impression on influential individuals. No counterproductive patterns in relationships or legal matters. Honesty and credibility will prove to be especially precious today. Tonight: Invitations come your way.

(June 21-July 22): The idea of being your own best friend in developing a healthy lifestyle must be embraced. Don’t lose focus or shift your priorities. Dissipating precious energy could end in frustration. You’ll enjoy the peace and solitude of nature. Tonight: Perform a random act of kindness.

(July 23-Aug. 22): Today generates active and interesting social professional contacts. A dynamic friend is an absolute inspiration. Focus on forming clear goals. Your hopes and wishes. Meditate on self-awareness and personal responsibility. This leads to a new assertiveness. Tonight: Online schmoozing.

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Extra recognition is coming your way at work. Demonstrate your capabilities in situations that promise to facilitate advancement. Make a list of goals and decide about community and your role in it. Tonight: A bright, talented friend provides inspiration and joy.

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Today is energetic. You want to win every competition, and travel plans and study will be important. Your cleverness and eloquence enable you to find the quickest route to fulfilment. An email or call marks the beginning of an intriguing bond. Tonight: Watch a foreign film.

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Today brings a glimpse into the motivations of others at work. Prepare for a few secrets to come to light. Explore investments and other strategies to establish long-term financial security. This is also an optimum time to prepare some writing for publication. Tonight: Early beddie-byes.

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): True happiness in a really good relationship or partnership can be attained. Be your daughter should be taught that her feelings -- and opinions

-- are important. But accepting gifts graciously is proper etiquette. It is considered rude for a recipient to tell folks their gifts are unwelcome or unwanted.

It would not be rude, however, for YOU to run interference by reminding these clueless grannies about your daughter’s problem and telling them what has been happening to their impractical gifts -- that they are given away, donated, etc. because she cannot wear them. A far more welcome gift would be something she’s interested in or a gift card to a store that carries items she might like. Then suggest an area of interest of hers they may be unaware of. Also, for “insurance,” request a receipt be included with the gift.

Astrology

especially patient and very sincere. There can be an old hurdle to surmount before trust is free to grow. It will. Compromise is important. Tonight: Dinner with friends.

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Today emphasizes how associates impact your well-being. Avoid those who upset you. Be sure to get a second opinion concerning diagnosis and health care options. All might not be as it seems initially. Tonight: Catching up with a family member.

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’ll be more visible in your professional sphere and could acquire a bit of fame. Return to a creative project that was abandoned previously. There’s a competitive quality present. Relationships with children follow old patterns. Tonight: Romance has a stable and comforting quality.

(Feb. 19-March 20): Today creates a stir in your home and family sector. Seek ways to make your residence more comfortable. A family member can be a trifle volatile. Happier times will begin soon. Tonight: A delicious old favorite recipe makes an amazing meal.